Archive-name: Samesex/majlea08.txt
Archive-author: 
Archive-title: Playing in the Major Leagues - 8


 Chapter 8. The Second Nightmare.

For most of the afternoon I was erect. It was impossible not 
to be. With Rafael dressed only in his tee-shirt I could see almost 
everything I wanted to. It would not have helped much if he'd been 
totally naked and I didn't suggest it. I was pretty certain he would 
have his tee-shirt off in a matter of seconds and I knew that things 
would get out of hand quickly. Besides, he was still a sick kid, 
though at times even that seemed doubtful during the afternoon. 
Instead I contented myself with long admiring glances. I started 
to think of Rafael as a 'boy-puppy'. He frolicked and darted 
around, giggling and teasing me for hour after wonderful hour just 
like a very playful puppy. Life was one big game for him. I knew 
that his life had not been a happy one until now and it was good 
to see him laughing and giggling like a boy is supposed to. He also 
needed to let off 'steam' like any ten-year-old boy. I don't know 
where he found the energy. Maybe it was the eggs he had for 
breakfast but for a while I began to think that he wasn't the same 
boy that I had found by the side of the freeway.

I pretended to ignore his exposed body whenever I thought he 
might realize that I was looking at him, but otherwise I ogled the 
boy continually. As he lounged around helping me set up his new 
train set, then as I played with him, I was bombarded by his legs, 
his thighs, his groin and his beautiful little butt. The boy was 
still badly bruised in front but his small rounded behind was 
perfect. When he squatted or kneeled and leaned forward I got view 
after view of his firm pinched cheeks and many glimpses of the final 
treasure, his deep crack parted and revealing his little button. 
The inside of his crack was still white from the Zinc Oxide that I 
had applied after breakfast so his opening was easy to spot as the 
little dark hole in the very center.

Every time I saw the purplish-brown bruises on his groin and 
lower belly I got angry. If I had Luis in front of me I would have 
killed him without any hesitation. Besides my ever-erect cock and 
trying to keep my hands off Rafael, the biggest problem that I 
struggled with was what to do about Luis. From the story that Rafael 
told me I knew that sooner or later Luis would find him. I also 
knew that the body of the little girl might never be found, 
particularly if the alligators found her first. As I played with 
Rafael my mind returned again and again as I tried to decide what 
to do. With luck, a good plan might also get rid of Luis.

 Playing with the train set was more fun than I'd had in many 
years. As the afternoon wore on I slowly realized that the little 
boy was really only ten years old. He grinned and shouted as our 
trains stopped and loaded and chugged off around the track. He took 
control and assigned me the role of chief engineer and we pretended 
we ran trains in 1880, complete with train robbers and Indian 
attacks. By four o'clock I was very glad I had purchased the biggest 
set they had. If filled about half of the living room floor and it 
kept us busy.

By evening Rafael was showing visible signs of being tired. 
He was still in a lot of pain and I had given him pills both at 
breakfast and lunch. I expected that the constant pain in his 
smashed testicles was beginning to wear him down. There wasn't much 
that I could do except try to keep his mind off what had been done 
to him and the ever-present ache in his groin. I stopped the game 
shortly after six and made Rafael lie down on the couch and take 
it easy. He watched the local news on television while I fixed 
dinner. I knew what he was looking for and I kept my own ears tuned 
for the announcement about someone finding the naked body of a 
little girl. Nothing yet! I wondered how long it would take. I would 
need to do something sooner ot later.

After dinner Rafael and I went into his bedroom and he read 
from 'Treasure Island' while I put his new clothes away in the 
closet. By eight o'clock Rafael seemed to be feeling a bit better 
and I suggested that we go for a swim. I thought that the cool water 
in the pool might help to relieve some of the pain in the boy's 
body as well as get some of the stiffness out of me. Rafael agreed 
and I helped him sit up and I pulled his tee-shirt off. He looked 
up at me and smiled. He held my eyes with his for a long while and 
the look that we shared was pure unadulterated lust. Silently he 
lay back on the bed, his arms moved upward to the pillows and his 
knees moved outwards until his legs were wide apart. Rafael Junior 
was presented for my inspection.

My cock jumped and instantly began to harden. Both his eyes 
and his shy smile were challenging me, tempting me, begging me to 
make love to him. The boy's body was lean and beautifully 
proportioned, his slenderness enhanced by lying on the bed with his 
arms stretched back over his head. There probably wasn't more than 
a pound of fat on his entire body. His belly was rippled with firm 
boy-muscle as it stretched from his chest down to his groin. The 
lines of his ribs were clearly visible as he stretched his arms 
back and pulled his belly in. His breasts, already flat, now 
disappeared and his tiny nipples were all that remained. I turned 
away. I wanted him so badly but even as I felt the demanding surge 
build inside me I looked at his groin. His short limp penis was 
still so bruised that it was nearly black and while the swelling 
in his scrotum had gone, the little pouch was shapeless and without 
even a sign of his two tiny eggs. I opened the dresser drawer and 
found his new swimming costume. It was a 'two piece'; a matching 
set of bright-red and dark-blue striped low-cut bikini-style briefs 
and shorts. I tossed the briefs over to Rafael.

"It's time to put the puppy away for a while," I teased.

Rafael smirked and looked at me, not moving at all. His body 
was like a magnet and I was as hard as steel. "Come on Raf," I 
laughed. "I want to go for a swim while it's still light outside."

His smirk faded but he wasn't unhappy. My ten-year-old boy 
knew very well the effect he had on me. He would have been blind 
if he hadn't seen it. He picked up the briefs from beside him and 
slowly sat up again. His dark skin was like velvet as tiny folds 
formed at his belly. Slowly, still holding my eyes with his, he 
reached down and put his feet though the swimming costume and began 
to draw it up. Most people would think of 'stripping' as sexy but 
Rafael made the act of covering his body even more sensuous. When 
he was covered he stood up and smiled. The change in him was nothing 
short of miraculous, Suddenly he was the little ten-year-old boy 
who wanted to go swimming.

"They look great, Raf," I said with an appreciative grin. "The 
colors look perfect on you." I could still see a few bruises on the 
boy's lower belly and the insides of his thighs but the worst was 
covered. He would pass inspection in the fading light but it would 
be a while before he could go out in broad daylight dressed like 
this. I could see the outlined form of the tip of his little penis 
in the nylon. It stuck outward between his legs and his foreskin 
made a tiny point at the very end. He looked very sexy.

Rafael followed me into my bedroom and watched as I undressed. 
He didn't say anything but I felt his eyes on me the entire time. 
I turned away and faced towards the wall as I took my pants and 
underpants off and pulled on my swimming costume. I hadn't inflated 
the 'hippo' yet so we took the goggles and flippers down to the 
pool with us. Rafael, 'boy-puppy', turned into Rafael, 'boy-seal'. 
Wet and brown and slender, my boy swam effortlessly back and forth 
across the pool, diving and splashing just like a seal. Of course 
the flippers helped but he moved so gracefully that he might have 
been born in the water. Every time our bodies touched, and they 
touched almost as much as they were apart, I trembled.

I knew that Rafael enjoyed the contact every bit as much as I 
did. The boy exploited it. Swimming away from me and then darting 
back, diving down and rubbing himself against my legs, always 
making sure that some part of his body was close to or against my 
penis. It was a lot of fun and we didn't stop until it was dark.

Right before we got out of the now-empty pool Rafael swam up 
and pulled me by the arm. I followed the smiling boy down into the 
dark end of the pool and away from the spotlights. "How does it 
feel down there?" I asked.

Rafael smiled, "It's not hurting nearly as much now. It's a 
lot better, I think the water kind of helps."

I nodded as the boy smiled. He stepped closer. His chest 
pressed into my belly and his slender arms locked around my waist. 
My own arms locked around Rafael's body and I hugged him. His hair 
was wet and slicked back against his head and I mussed it up with 
my nose as I nuzzled him. It was so dark that no one could see us. 
Besides we were in the far side of the pool and well hidden from 
view anyway. I wondered how far Rafael would go. It didn't take 
long to find out. My penis hardened quickly and it stuck up into 
the furrow between my belly and thigh. I could feel it being pressed 
into Rafael's little brown belly as he squeezed up against it. I 
flexed it, increasing it's presence as it bulged into the boy. He 
giggled and pressed forward even harder, compressing the shaft of 
my cock into him. After only a minute of embracing the boy pulled 
away slightly so that we were no longer pressed tightly together. 
I could feel my cock throbbing, demanding his soft warmth back 
again. I couldn't see him but I knew what he was doing. I could 
feel his arms and hands moving between us as he untied the cord of 
his swimming briefs.

"He's really stiff this time," Rafael whispered. His little 
hand came forward and rubbed against the long thick bulge in my 
swimming costume.

"So what did you expect?" I teased as my hands came to his 
shoulders and I pulled him forward and back against me. My hands 
slid down his slender lean back, tracing his spine with my finger 
tips. "You feel good, Raf," I whispered. The boy looked up. In the 
dim light from the windows above us I could see his black eyes 
flash. The palms of my hands reached his hips and my fingers hovered 
at the start of his crack, barely under the taut nylon of his 
bikini-briefs as I played with the thought of sliding my hands 
further down. It would be very easy to go further and I knew that 
he wanted me to, just as I wanted to. It would be very easy to slid 
his swimming costume off and in the dark water nobody but the two 
of us would ever know. I toyed with the waistline of his briefs, 
plucking the cloth away slightly each time as I loosened the cord 
around his hips. Rafael sighed quietly and tightened his grip 
around my body. I could feel the boy's soft cheek as it lay against 
my chest.

He sighed quietly again. "The water feels so good." He giggled 
quietly and squirmed up even harder against me. Any pain he would 
have felt was numbed by the sedative he'd taken at dinner. His 
little genitals were slowly but surely being squeezed against my 
thigh. Not too tightly but just enough for me to be very aware of 
the boy's urgent desire. But I also was aware that his body was not 
responding the way it should.

Gently I eased him back and away from me. "You're beautiful, 
Raf. And you're also very sexy. There's nothing I want more," I 
whispered.

"Nothing?" Rafael whispered as he smirked.

I nodded. "But not yet. Not till he's better. We'll know when 
he's ready."

Rafael looked up slowly. " I guess. When I'm better? Promise?"

I nodded again and took his small hand in mine. I squeezed him 
tightly, "It's a deal."

We climbed out of the pool and got our towels and dried off 
quickly. The water had refreshed both of us but it was only a short 
respite from the tiredness that plagued Rafael. I had planned on 
playing some games with him when we were inside the apartment but 
by the time we got there he was already yawning. I closed and locked 
the door behind us. Rafael rubbed his eyes sleepily, pulling the 
towel closer around his shoulders as he snuggled into the warmth 
from his own body.

"It's been a long day for a sick kid. It looks like someone's 
ready for bed," I said. The boy nodded and sighed as he followed 
me down the hall and into his bedroom. Most of his body was already 
dry but when I gently eased his swimming costume down he was still 
wet underneath. I pulled the towel from my shoulders and gently 
dabbed at his bruised genitals. The boy's sex organs had shrivelled 
until his scrotum had all but vanished. His little penis had 
contracted and pulled into him so that not more than an inch was 
showing. The cold water had definitely helped to reduce the boy's 
pain. As I dried him off he winced once and then it was only in 
discomfort.

I dried off his sides and buttocks and then worked the towel 
into his crack. "You need to go to the toilet?" I asked. Rafael 
shook his head tiredly. I smiled, "If you wait here I'll get your 
toothbrush." He nodded sleepily and sat down on his bed looking for 
his overlarge 'tee-shirt' pajamas. By the time I came back he'd 
managed to get it over his head but he was struggling to get his 
arms into the sleeves. I suppressed a laugh and knelt down on the 
floor before him to help. The boy's strength was fading fast as he 
yawned and blinked his dark eyes. He was almost asleep. While he 
was still sitting up I brushed his teeth for him. I don't think he 
could have done it by himself. It was amusing to think that only 
five minutes earlier Rafael was doing his best to seduce me in the 
pool and now he was too tired to move. I guided him back down into 
the bed and straightened his arms and legs. He smiled slowly as his 
eyes half closed and he turned onto his side and curled up like a 
tired little puppy. I lifted the sheet up so that it was over legs 
and abdomen and sat down next to him. I lovingly stroked his side 
for the few seconds that it took for him to fall asleep. He was so 
tired that I expected him to sleep right through the night. I stayed 
next to him for a long while, still stroking his back lightly and 
caressing the wet strands of his hair until it was dry. When I 
finally stood up it was several hours after. Rafael had slept 
soundly the entire time and it didn't seem likely that he would 
wake up. I staggered off to my own bed.

                        +++++

I woke up around two o'clock in the morning. The apartment was 
deadly quiet. I tried to go back to sleep but it was impossible to 
get my thoughts off Rafael. Images flickered in my mind. Strong 
images of Rafael in the living room playing with his trains, in the 
pool as he looked at me with unbridled lust, in the store as he 
grinned with more happiness than he had ever known. I smiled and 
sighed. I seemed to love the boy more every minute that I was with 
him.

The funny thing was how fast his mood changed. In one instant 
he was oozing lust as he tried to arouse me. A minute later he was 
the shy bashful little boy who wanted affection and love. There 
seemed to be no reason to how it worked. One thing, then the other, 
without any indication of what provoked the change. The only 
exception seemed to be that when I rejected his sexual advances he 
quickly changed to the other Rafael, to the innocent little boy. I 
wondered what would happen when we finally took the final step 
together and made love. I wondered how it would change him. It was 
kind of interesting having two Rafaels.

Unable to go back to sleep I stood up and walked quietly down 
the hall to check on Rafael. I came into his bedroom and walked 
quietly over to his bed. My life seemed to plunge into a deep abyss, 
a terrible emptiness rose up and pulled me down as I saw the 
disturbed sheets and no boy. I touched the bed. It was cool. Rafael 
was somewhere in the apartment but he hadn't been in his bed for 
some time. I looked around the room. It was only the barely audible 
whimper that caught my attention and I looked back towards the 
closet. The door was open and in the dim light I could just make 
out the boy as he huddled inside.

What I saw and heard scared me as much or even more than the 
terrible screaming of the night before when he went on and on. His 
crying had been painful and endless. Now it was just a whimper. He 
rocked slightly, back and forth with a mindless intensity. His head 
was bent over and between his knees and his arms were wrapped 
tightly around his legs. He seemed to not even notice me as I 
approached him and knelt down on the floor before him. He still 
wore his tee-shirt and although he didn't seem to be cold, he was 
shivering. I gently touched his knee. He did not move.

"Raf," I said quietly, "Raf it's me." My words passed through 
the boy and he kept his endless whimper. I had a horrible thought 
at that moment. Rafael was insane. His mind seemed blank, almost 
as if the pain was so great that he could no longer keep it inside 
him. I did not know what to do. I wanted Rafael back. I wanted the 
beautiful alive and sexy boy that had been swimming with just hours 
earlier. I touched his legs and rubbed the smooth flesh gently. 
Between his thighs his little bruised penis poked out above the 
tiny blackened lump of his scrotum. 

"Rafael," I said loudly, trying to penetrate the barrier that 
he had set before me. There was no response. I lifted my hand and 
caressed his soft hair. "Rafael I love you," I whispered. The boy 
whimpered. "Raf, listen to me. I'm here with you. Please talk to 
me. Please?" I implored. Lovingly I lifted his head up so that he 
faced me. His eyes were glassy and he stared straight ahead, not 
focusing on anything. "Raf, Please?" I begged. "Raf, Listen to 
me,... Please?" I was scared. I was frightened that I was losing 
the boy and that he was slipping away into the peace he had found 
somewhere else. He was going mad. I shook him gently. Then a little 
harder and then harder again. "Raf! RAF PLEASE?" I shouted as I 
tried to break into his private world. He shuddered and groaned 
from deep in his belly. Then he whimpered again. I realized that I 
had lost him.

My dream started to fall apart from that terrible moment. 
Everything seemed so unimportant, everything except Rafael. 
"Please, Raf? Don't leave me! Please? I love you." I whispered. I 
was forty two years old and I started to cry. Rafael was my life 
now. Without him beside me, I wanted only to die. "Raf,.... 
please." I begged. The change in the boy's whimper was barely 
noticeable but it was there. I looked up slowly and in the dim light 
I saw a single tear trickle down the boy's cheek. He was crying, 
just as I was. "Raf,... please,... I love you," I pleaded.

As I looked at him another tear formed and then another. Then 
slowly his endless whimpering ceased. He started to cry and his 
crying turned to sobs and he began to reach out to me. I took his 
hands in mine and held them tightly. "It's okay Raf. I'm here. I 
love you," I said boldly as I bravely squeezed on his little 
fingers. I began to stand up, pulling Rafael with me. He came up 
far enough so that I could reach down and lift him up into my arms. 
His head buried into my side as I carried him back down the hall 
and into my bedroom again. This was getting to be a habit.

I lay down beside the boy and held him tightly against me. 
There was no passion in me and certainly none in the frightened 
little boy. I was not even aware of the boy's body. I wanted only 
to comfort him. If he had smiled I would have been the happiest 
person alive. I don't remember how long it took before his crying 
stopped but it was a very long time.

It may have been an hour later before I became aware that he 
was looking at me. It surprised me. I might even have been asleep, 
but his dark eyes were looking straight at me. His eyes were still 
wet with tears but he was quiet. "Raf,..." I breathed out in relief.

"A little smile started at the corners of his mouth. "Hi," he 
whispered. 

"Are you okay?" I asked gently.

The boy nodded slowly, "Yeah. You carried me in?" he asked.

"Uh huh! Do you remember what happened? You had another 
nightmare I think."

Rafael looked at me strangely. His eyes blinked, then closed 
as he tried to remember. "He didn't die, did he?" he whispered.

"Who, Raf? Who didn't die?" I asked.

"Mr. Baker. He didn't die did he?" the boy persisted.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "Tell me Raf. Please tell me 
what happened?"

The boy nodded, "He didn't die," he said with more conviction. 
There was a long silence. "Mr. Baker put his dick in me," he 
mumbled. "He made me bleed. It hurt, but it wasn't that bad. When 
he did it,... right at the end,... something happened to him. I 
couldn't get out from under him. I thought he was dead. I couldn't 
breath,... and he was crushing me. When I got out I think he was 
still alive but he was grey and he sounded really sick."

I nodded and gently stroked Rafael's cheek. "It's okay Raf. I 
love you." The boy looked at me curiously but he didn't say 
anything. It took a long while before the silence was broken and 
then Rafael opened up to me. Piece by piece the story came out and 
like a jigsaw puzzle, I fitted the pieces together. It saddened me 
as I learned what Rafael had been through. He told me how Mr. Baker 
had used a dildo in him as he sat in the car. He told me about how 
he had participated in the anal rape of a little black boy. He told 
me about his trip to Orlando and the terror he had felt when Mr. 
Baker had collapsed on top of him and pinned him to the bed. That 
was how he had met Luis....

He drifted off to sleep slowly as I held him against me. His 
head was pressed into my chest and my chin brushed his soft hair. 
With my hands under the loose tee-shirt, I rubbed his narrow back 
all the way from his neck to his little rubber cheeks. For the long 
hours until dawn I thought about Rafael. The boy had known more 
pain in his short life than most people would ever know in an entire 
lifetime. It saddened me as I thought about it but more than ever 
I was convinced that I would change the boy's life. He would never 
go back to Centerville. He would always live with me.

His relationship with Baker bothered me. I thought about it 
again and again. Not that Rafael had liked the man, I was glad that 
he had in a way. The thought of the beautiful little boy being 
'fucked in the ass' by someone he didn't even like was unbearable. 
At least he had liked the man and had derived something from it 
besides pain. No, what really bothered me was the fact that Baker 
had used a dildo in him not only once but had been quite prepared 
to do it again. He had abused the boy shamefully. Unable to get an 
erection, the impotent bastard had rammed a dildo up the boy just 
because he was there and available. There had been no affection for 
the boy, no love, no caring, no human warmth. Just the blunt end 
of a cold hard lifeless thing forced into his gut.

That a man could do that to any boy, let alone one as wonderful 
and alive as Rafael disgusted me. He had not understood what drove 
Rafael. The boy needed love and affection above everything else and 
all he got from Baker was little different to the way he had always 
been treated at Centerville. Had Baker had some perverted need to 
penetrate the little boy and watch him writhe on the car seat as 
his body took its pleasure? Had he wanted to satisfy the boy's need 
for sexual gratification but knew that he was unable to? Either way 
there was a kind of poetic justice in it all. It sounded very much 
as though Baker had a stroke while he was with Rafael. It served 
him right.

By early dawn I was very tired but I was also happy. Rafael 
had slept soundly through the rest of the night and as the first 
rays of the rising sun came through the window and struck his small 
dark head he began to stir. He was still lying half over me with 
his head on my chest and one slender smooth leg draped casually 
over my thighs. I had lifted his tee-shirt up during the night so 
that I could caress his back while he slept. Now I gently pulled 
it downwards and covered his little bottom. He stirred again and 
sighed. His fingers moved from their clammy position on my shoulder 
and slipped into the warmth of my armpit. Rafael felt warm and soft 
and his weight was barely noticeable. He felt very good indeed. He 
shifted slightly and then sat up as he rubbed his eyes.

"Hi sleepy head," I smiled.

He smiled back. "Hi yourself. I'm in your bed again, huh?"

I nodded. "You had another dream, remember?"

"Yeah. we talked a lot last night, didn't we? 'bout Mr. 
Baker?" He swallowed and took a deep breath. "You gotta promise 
never to die," he whispered.

"I can't promise that Raf. I can promise I'll take care of 
myself. I'll promise I'll always be here for you," I answered 
honestly.

" I don't want you to die." The boy looked away and then he 
grinned as he turned back. "I'll promise to take care of you too."

I laughed. "Just having you here is enough to make me take 
better care of myself."

I hadn't been running for quite a long while, several weeks 
at least. I'd always been too busy but this morning I had a pressing 
need to run. I needed to work off my demanding need for Rafael. I 
wanted to live forever and I wanted never to suffer the same fate 
as Baker. "Okay! It's a deal! We'll take care of each other," I 
laughed as I wondered how I could ever go running with Rafael. He'd 
never let me go out of sight for more than a few seconds and I 
expected that it would be a few weeks before he was strong enough 
to go with me. The idea came in a flash. I got out of bed and pulled 
on a pair of loose shorts over my underpants.

"Come on Raf," I said as I pulled the sheets down to the end 
of the bed. "I'm going for a run and you're coming too."

I reached down and pulled Rafael up. He giggled as he came to 
his feet and he followed me down the hall and into his bedroom. I 
went over to his dresser and took out a new pair of shorts and a 
tee-shirt. When I turned around Rafael already had his nightshirt 
off and he was standing beside his bed. He was naked and he was 
smiling. His right hand was casually stroking his little limp 
penis. I grinned at the boy. "You playing with the puppy?" I teased.

Rafael smirked and nodded. "He wants to play. You can too,... 
If you want?" he whispered. His voice was very quiet but just loud 
enough for me to hear. It was a conspiratorial whisper of 
uncontrolled lust. I felt my heart leaped at the outright 
acknowledgment of what we both felt. His lips were open just a 
little bit as he breathed heavily. The boy's dark eyes followed my 
eyes back down to his groin. "You wanna?" he asked. There was an 
unmistakable note of pleading in his voice. I could sense the boy's 
urgency. His desire was every bit as strong as mine.

I stepped forward, the temptation more than I could stand. I 
could feel my own penis stiffening and growing tight in my shorts 
as it swelled, lengthened, and then straightened. "He's getting 
hard again," the boy observed. He glanced downward at his own still 
very soft sex organ. " I wish mine would," he added. " I hate him. 
I hate him being all soft like this. Why can't he get stiff like 
he's s'posed to?"

I reached forward and gently placed my hand on Rafael's 
forearm. "Don't be mean to him, Raf. He's been hurt, He needs time 
to get better."

The boy looked up angrily. "I want him better now. I want him 
hard like he used to be. I hate him all soft and shrivelled up like 
this. He tried to pull his arm away but I held him tightly. "Why 
can't I get hard just once?"

"I guess because he's not ready yet. Both of you need time to 
get over what happened. When the puppy's ready to play, he'll let 
you know." I grinned at the young boy as he smiled slightly.

"Will you play with him then?"

I laughed. "I'll play with the puppy so much that you'll wish 
he was like this."

Rafael giggled and shook his head. "No I won't. I'll always 
want you to. This puppy want's to be your best friend."

"And I know a certain dog that would love to play with a boy 
just like you," I said. "Between the four of us I'm sure we'll work 
out something once you and the pup are feeling better."

Rafael looked at me sadly. "Not now huh?" he asked.

I smiled at the young boy. "Does it still hurt?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's sore still and if I push on my balls it really 
hurts pretty bad," Rafael answered honestly.

"Raf honey, I don't think we should rush it. Not when it still 
hurts. The whole point is for it to feel good down there. I couldn't 
do anything knowing that it was hurting you."

The boy looked at me curiously. For the first time since he'd 
first explored his body's mysteries with Grant, someone cared that 
he was not hurt. Everyone else had hurt him. Some accidently or not 
even realizing it, but most had deliberately inflicted pain on him 
as they drew their own excitement from his agony. They had not cared 
whether he enjoyed or hated it, merely that he was there as a 
receptacle for their sperm. Now more than ever, Rafael wanted to 
be that receptacle but his little traitorous penis refused to 
cooperate and perform in the role assigned to it. He hated the 
useless little thing between his legs.

He nodded slowly, now understanding why the man standing 
before him was different to all the others. He lifted his arms up 
above his head as I drew the small dark blue tee-shirt downwards, 
not taking my hands away until they were at his bony hips. The dark 
color suited him, but then any color seemed right on Rafael's 
slender brown body. I knelt down before him. "You don't need 
underpants on unless you want," I said. "I think the cool air is 
better for you anyway." 

"Sure. I didn't mind yesterday at the shop," he said with a 
shy smile. "It felt kinda nice actually."

Rafael lifted his right foot to step into the shorts that I 
held for him. For the first time I was aware of the thinness of his 
ankles, the small size of his feet and the slenderness of his legs. 
The boy wasn't skinny but he was lightly built with delicate bones. 
He was lean and lithe though he was anything but a natural athlete. 
He was, on the other hand, a natural sex machine. But even that 
seemed to be contradicted by the narrowness of his pelvis. As I 
pulled the white cotton shorts up the boy's thighs one thought 
filled my consciousness; how could my penis ever manage to fit 
inside his slender body.

Finally I stood and smiled at the little boy standing 
attentively before me. "You have a beautiful body, Raf," I said at 
last. I could imagine my penis squeezing its way into the tight hot 
wetness inside him though I doubted that it was possible. I could 
imagine his heart pounding inside his narrow chest as I began to 
move ever so slightly. I could imagine his body loosening just 
enough so that his pain was manageable. I could imagine filling his 
young perfect body with my seed as he cried out in agony and 
ecstasy. I could imagine this beautiful ten-year-old boy eagerly 
joining with me again and again as we explored our love. It was all 
that I could do not to toss the boy onto his bed and hump him for 
the rest of the day.

Rafael gave me a shy smile but it said all that he needed to 
say. The thoughts that had passed through mind had simultaneously 
passed through his. I took the boy's hand and squeezed it lovingly. 
He kept on smiling as his eyes looked into mine. We both felt it; 
the same longing, the same hunger, the same desire, the same love. 
Gently I drew the boy to me so that his belly pressed against my 
raging erection. He grinned up at me as he felt it alive and hot 
before him and pressing into the soft warm skin beneath his tee-
shirt. His eyes looked away to the side, to the bed, then back to 
me. This time they issued a challenge. I eased back and still 
holding his hand, pulled him after me. As we passed through the 
door and into the hall I thought one more time of taking him into 
my bedroom and doing what needed to be done, doing what both of us 
wanted more than anything else.

Instead I led him to the front door, opened it and playfully 
pulled him outside into the corridor. We walked hand in hand down 
to the beach. To the casual observer we were harmless; father and 
son going for an early morning walk on the beach. Instead, we were 
like a boy and girl on their first date, when they first hold hands 
and discover the intimacy that will eventually bring them even 
closer together.

At the water's edge we stopped and I unfastened my watch and 
placed on Rafael's thin wrist. I had to push it all the way to his 
elbow before it was no longer sliding around and even then it was 
loose. "You're gonna leave me alone, aren't you?" Rafael asked 
nervously. "That's why you're giving me the watch?"

I smiled. "I'm not going that far, Raf. I'm going to run up 
the beach. When I stop I want you look at the time and see how long 
it took. Then time me again on the way back."

The boy nodded and looked up the beach. It was deserted except 
for a few early morning walkers, a few joggers, a few dog-walkers, 
and a few fishermen. "Please?.... Don't leave me," he begged 
quietly.

I touched Rafael's shoulder and pulled him towards me. "I'll 
never leave you, Raf," I promised. "How far can I go before I have 
to stop?"

The boy shrugged and looked up the beach. "I don't want you 
to go at all," he said. He thought for a moment, "That guy up there 
who's fishing?" he said as he pointed.

"Okay, that far and then I'll come back," I agreed.

Before Rafael could say anything more I turned and started to 
run. I needed the exercise. I needed to burn off the frustration 
that seemed to come every time I was with Rafael and I looked at 
him or saw him wince from the pain that plagued his little brown 
body. I really needed to burn off my excess calories with Rafael 
in bed but that would come later, I hoped.

The fisherman was a bit less than a quarter of a mile away and 
I covered the distance before I was breathing hard. I was still in 
'okay' shape for a man in his early forties. I'd have to be in much 
better shape to have any chance of keeping up with Rafael when he'd 
recovered. I turned and sprinted back to the boy, splashing through 
the waves as they washed up onto the sand. As I neared I could see 
the worry fade from the boy's face and by the time I was nearly 
beside him he was smiling. I made a circle, still jogging as Rafael 
called out the times. I laughed and clapped him lightly on the back 
as I took off again, running steadily and trying to control my 
breathing with deep controlled lung-fulls of the fresh salty air. 
It was invigorating and I began to think that I could run forever.

After six laps I'd had enough. I was breathless and sweating. 
I needed a shower, a shave and breakfast. We walked back up to the 
apartment, still hand in hand. The boy's hand was so small and soft 
that it seemed to be swallowed up in my hand. I could sense the 
lack of strength in him through his hand. I knew that Rafael would 
always take the passive role. That realization denied the 
effervescence that seemed to be ever-present in the boy. He was 
active and intense but the need to submit also smouldered within 
him. There was a gentleness in the boy, a quietness that told of 
the fact that he could never be the aggressor. It was easy to see 
why others had been both quick and able to use him. Nature had never 
intended this boy for the man's role. He was not effeminate but 
neither was he the red-blooded boy that father's expect of their 
sons.

I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As always 
Rafael was only a few steps behind me and he followed me in, taking 
up his position against the vanity. He still wore my watch on his 
forearm though it had slipped down slightly from his elbow. He 
watched as I stripped off. Already I was getting used to being 
observed in the nude. The boy didn't say anything but he looked at 
me with blatant and undisguised interest in my sex organs. I 
wondered what he was thinking, though it wasn't hard to guess from 
the boy's face. I opened the shower door and stepped under the 
water. I could see the expression change on my boy's face. Lust 
faded and it was replaced by disappointment and uncertainty.

"Can I shower too?" Rafael asked nervously, then added, "with 
you?"

I wasn't sure what to say. Just the mere suggestion of having 
the beautiful boy naked and under the shower with me sent shock 
waves through me. If we were close together like that, I knew it 
would be impossible to keep my hands of his perfect little body and 
we both knew what would happen then. If his body responded to his 
desire there was no way that either of us could resist. I nodded 
and left the door open. I watched the boy undress. Within seconds 
his shorts and tee-shirt were lying on top of my shorts on the 
vanity. The deliciously naked boy walked over and stepped over the 
door sill and into the shower with me. My penis was rock-hard and 
waiting for him. I closed the door behind him and moved back against 
the far wall. We were just inches away from each other and we were 
both naked. We were both filled with an intense and wonderful 
excitement but only one of us was erect.

"Raf, there's just one rule for now," I said gently.

The boy smiled as he glanced downward at my very stiff penis. 
"No funny business, huh?" he asked. "You don't wanna do stuff, 
right?". I smiled back and nodded. "He sure is hard enough though."

"He's only that way because of you Raf," I said honestly. 
"We'll do stuff just as soon as your's is the same way, okay?"

"Yeah, I know!. There's no harm in trying is there?" Rafael 
teased.

I laughed. "One time you're going to try and the puppy's not 
going to be asleep, Raf. There's no harm in trying to wake him up."

The boy giggled but I knew that his inability to have erection 
was really beginning to bother him. After his experience with Mr. 
Baker the boy understood the failure implied by not being able to 
have an erection when it was called for. He had shared in that 
failure as well and it had come as an indictment of his emerging 
sexuality. Baker's problem was a denial of his young body. Little 
more than a week ago he had felt sick inside and filled with despair 
when the man had not responded. Though he had not understood it at 
the time, Rafael had felt inadequate and very ashamed.

"I'm glad you're not all hairy," Rafael smirked as he looked 
me over carefully.

"Was Baker hairy?" I asked curiously.

The boy made a face. "It was gross. It was all over him. There 
was even hair on his back and it was really thick on his front."

"I've got some hair," I said apologetically.

The boy grinned. "Yeah sure! Where it looks nice. Around your 
dick and on your legs there's some. But he was gross. He was kinda 
pale and his hair was black and yucky."

I laughed. Going by the sound of Rafael's adventure with Mr. 
Baker I had no reason to be jealous. The man had gotten his penis 
inside the boy once and even then it sounded as though Rafael was 
the instigator. I wasn't jealous but I would kill the bastard if I 
ever got a chance!

I passed the soap to my beautiful wet naked boy. "You wash and 
I'll shampoo," I laughed with relief.

"What about him?" Rafael asked as his eyes glanced downward 
to stare one more time at my throbbing penis.

"He's a big boy. He can wait for Raf Junior to get better.

I watched as the boy began to soap himself. I imagined my hands 
sliding up and down on the slippery brown body, feeling the 
firmness of muscle and bone under the silky-soft skin, the hardness 
of his still-immature but blood-engorged penis as it protruded 
outward from the slender young boy. I could imagine myself parting 
his small firm cheeks as he pivoted forward at the hips and braced 
himself against the tiled wall. I could imagine sinking my soap 
slicked penis into him and forcing his anus wide open as I claimed 
his manhood as the spoils of my victory.

"I wish mine was bigger," Rafael sighed as he soaped down his 
belly and began to lightly massage his pubic area cautiously. "I 
had the smallest dick in Baker House. There was even a nine year-
old kid that was bigger down there than me."

"You have a perfect dick. I glad it's small. Small is 
beautiful too you know. Besides it suits you and the size doesn't 
matter, it's what you do with it that counts." I added playfully.

Rafael smirked. "So would you rather have a Porsche or a 
Cadillac, huh?"

I smirked back at the ten-year-old boy. "I love you exactly 
the way you are. Small dick and all. Anyway, I've always liked 
Porsches."



to be continued

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