Archive-name: JourEntr/j623-017.txt
Archive-author: Elf Matheiu Sternberg
Archive-title: Amanda


Journal Entry 017 / 0623

     "Commander?  Can you hear me?"

     I heard the words dimly, through an awful haze of drugs and pain.
I tried to talk, and a croak came out.  "Yea.  I c'n hear ya."

     "My name is A'l'emad.  I'm your nurse.  You've been in an
accident."  The thought made me smile.  I wouldn't exactly call what
happened just an 'accident.'

     "A'l'emad?  You're a Mustel, huh?"  I asked.

     "Yes, sir."  Was that disdain in his voice?

     "How're you handling your assignment?"

     "Sir," he said, and I heard amusement that time, "I was advised by
your coimelin that you would begin asking me questions about myself.  I
am your nurse, sir.  Please take my advice, and, to quote Doctor Traken,
shut up and rest."

     "Oh, damn," I breathed.  He was right, though.  My throat hurt like
hell.


     "Ken?"  It was P'nyssa's voice, and it was sweet to hear.

     "Hi, sweetheart.  How are we doing?"

     "I am doing better, now that we're sure the two of you are going to
live.  How do your eyes feel?"

     "Hard to say, with the painkillers.  How long am I expected to be
blind?"

     "A few weeks.  We need to get your renal system working to a level
that can handle the kind of glucose we need to fix your eyes.  Nanotech
doesn't work without fuel."  I nodded.  "Oh," she continued, "I took the
liberty of reactivating Voll.  He's at the foot of your bed.  You should
be able to walk in a few days."

     "How's Amanda?" I asked.

     "Better.  Tell me, what do you remember happening?"

     "Is this a debriefing?"

     "No.  Etta wants to handle that personally."

     "Does that mean Amanda is in trouble?"

     "Kathy came out of it unscathed, so I'd say no.  It was an
accident, and that's how it's going on the books.  There's a slight
indication of operator error, but it's not enough to strip either Kathy
or Amanda of rank."

     I relaxed.  "Good.  Well, I heard the first... it wasn't an
explosion, really.  It sounded more like a lot of metal being sheared
violently.  I ran down to the lab to see what was happening, and I saw
that the Benetti field was running, and about to shatter the ceramic
platform.  I grabbed Kathy and I almost threw her out of there, but when
I went back to Amanda she was just to heavy, so I tried to shield her
from the explosion.  I figured I was in better shape than she was.  The
explosion was a little more powerful than I figured, because I remember
hearing the breach alarm, and the sound of air rushing.  I don't
remember much after that."

     "Well, I'll finish it for you.  You and Amanda got swept out.  The
breach was pretty big.  We launched SDisk Coordinate Trackers that
grabbed you and teleported you to the SDisk in the exosickbay.  We
treated you both there."

     "How's Amanda?"

     "Well, you kept her from going blind, holding her face against your
stomach.  And your training kept you pretty healthy.  You were only in
vacuum for eight seconds.  You've lost one eardrum, both eyes, and a
little of your toes from vacuum frostbite.  Amanda's a little worse in
that respect.  She's not blind, but she is deaf.  And I'm afraid that
her GI tract was not treated kindly.  But we've already got that fixed,
and her urinal tract survived pretty well.  Yours, on the other hand,
tried to turn itself inside out."

     "Joy."  I paused.  "So, what's next?"

     "You go in for surgery.  A little cyborging to support the repair
mechanisms, and you'll be ready to get out of bed."

     "Queen bee module?"

     "You got it.  Ready?"

     "Yes."


     Ah, out of bed at last.  I'm being led around by my seeing eye
robot, Voll.  I feel kind of queasy, and my high-sugar diet is making me
regularly light-headed.  But I've got a QBM inside me now to fix my
eyes, and it runs on raw glucose.

     The Queen Bee module is a supercomputer and nanotech assembler
system.  Normal cells repair themselves, so small wounds are healed by
mechanisms local to the wound.  The Queen Bee system is different; it's
the housing for a healing mechanism that travels through the body to
repair sites, then returns to the housing.  It's called the Queen Bee by
analogy; a beehive suffers when its drones die, but those drones are
replaced, and the hive is 'healed' as a whole, by the queen bee.

     I walked through the a very different 'Elen from the one I was used
to visiting.  I was blind, and I now relied upon Voll and Liffip.
Smells and Sounds reached me.  I was only fifteen days away from having
the bandages taken off, but in the meantime, I was blind, and darkness
was again my friend.  I stress friend, because I'd been blind before,
and for a longer time.  I'd recovered, and although that blindness was
hundreds of years in the past, I hadn't forgotten how to deal with it.
I could still read braille, and P'nyssa had gotten me a braille PADD.

     It isn't true that smell and hearing get more acute when one goes
blind.  No, it's more that I'm paying more attention to those senses.
People close their eyes to enjoy the smell of food, after all.

     My nurse, A'l', was annoyingly insistent about helping me.  He's a
good sort, and a Mustel, the newest race born to Pendor, but he can be
annoying.  Even though it's an android, he was still annoyed by Voll's
presence next to my bed.  "We can't have a dog in here, sir," he said.

     But I got him to leave me alone.  After all, I think I surprised
him by my ability to read, and to navigate by Voll.

     I palmed the door alert.  At least, I hoped that's where it was.  I
heard the chime, and from it I heard Amanda's voice from inside.  "Who
is it?"

     "It's me, Ken."

     There was a squeal, and I heard the door swish open.  "Kennet!" I
heard, and arms swung around my head.  "I'm so glad you're okay!"

     I responded by putting my arms around her torso, and sliding them
down until I came to her juncture.  "I'm glad you're okay," I replied.
"Can I come in?"

     "Yes, yes, come in, come in!"  She pulled me in.  "Sit down, make
yourself comfortable."

     "Amanda?"

     "Huh?"

     "Uhm... where?"

     "Ohmifa, I forgot.  I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  Over... to your right.
There's a table in front of you.  Go around it and there's a couch for
people."

     I laughed, and tugged on Voll's harness.  It led me easily around
the table and I found the couch.  It felt slightly overstuffed when I
sat down.  "So, how are you?"

     "I'm fine, really.  I've got my hearing back, and Dr. Merta said
I'm in... in... top-tip shape?"

     "Tip-top.  That's an old expression."

     "Yeah.  Well he said everything healed perfectly, and I'm in better
health than I was the day before the accident.  How are you?"

     "I'm better.  All that's left is my eyes.  Everything else is just
as healed as yours."

     "I'm sorry about your eyes."  She was moving about.  I heard the
common 'suck' sound of a refrigerator door, and she asked, "Is there
anything you want to drink?"

     "How about a carmel soda?"

     "Yuck.  I can get it."

     "No, that's okay.  Apple juice?"

     "I've got that."

     "I'll have that.  And I won't be hurt if you don't give me glass."

     "I trust you."  I heard the sound of her hooves as she walked over
and handed it to me.  "It's in front of you.  Here."  She took hold of
my hand and let it to the glass.  I heard her settle down to the carpet,
and her voice now came from a lower angle.  "Father..."

     "Amanda," I said, interrupting her, "please don't call me that.  I
hope you won't be angry with me, but I checked your lineage, and the
earliest point is four away.  At best, I'm you're great-great-great-
grandfather."

     "Okay, Kennet," she said in a very small and girlish voice.  "The
crew in sickbay told me that, if you hadn't come, I'd be blind just like
you are now.  I would also have been in a lot more pain when I woke up.
Because you wear your uniform all the time, you took a lot of the
laceration from the ceramics without getting hurt, but I would have been
a lot worse, and I could have died."

     "Died?" I asked.  "How?"

     There was a long pause.  "I never had a sc gorget done."

     I realized what that meant.  The only major 'weak' spot on a
centaur, or most Pendorians, is the throat.  After Donna Lewis was
killed, the sc gorget procedure was invented to reinforce the skin
beneath the neck.  "Okay, I can understand.  Some people don't think
it's very sexy."

     "That's not why," she said.  "I just never thought about it.  I
never expected to be in combat, I guess.  But, what I mean is, you saved
my eyes by shielding me from the vacuum, too."

     "Amanda, I was trying to shield your face from the shrapnel,
because I knew my uniform would handle most of it.  I had no idea the
lab going to get vacuated by the explosion."

     "Whatever your reasons, Kennet, I can't thank you enough.  You
saved my eyes and my life."

     "You make it sound so dramatic."

     She took my hands in hers.  "It was dramatic.  It's the most
dramatic thing that ever happened to me.  When I get home, I'll be able
to tell my friends that I was in vacuum without a space suit, and that
Shardik himself saved my life."

     I laughed.  "Yeah, I guess you will be able to tell your friends
that."  Is it just me, or is there a hint of stress in this room?  I let
loose her hands and sought my glass, taking a long drink after I found
it.

     I put it down, and said, "Well."

     "Yes?" she said.

     "I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing, Amanda.  I
guess I'll get back to work."  I rose and grabbed Voll's harness.

     "Wait," Amanda said.

     "What?"

     "Kennet, I.. Uhm... I can't think of how I'd want to say this,
but... I want to thank you for what you did, and I wonder if you would
like to... rhysh... with me."

     I smiled.  And I couldn't help it, but I felt laughter, and I
couldn't hold it back.  I began to laugh, trying to hide it with my hand
over my mouth.

     "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to be so..." I heard her voice.  "I'm
sorry, Kennet.  Please, forget I-"

     "No, no, no.  Please, Amanda.  I'm sorry.  Really."  I felt so
unfairly awkward.  "Amanda, really.  It's just been centuries since I've 
heard it called that.  Oh, gods, it's been so long.  I guess it is true
what I said a long time ago."

     "What was that?" she asked.  There was hurt in her voice.

     "I once said that rhysh was for young people."

     "But you sleep with Doctor Traken!"

     "I know, I know.  But we don't call it that, Amanda.  I mean, let's
face it, it's making love, and that's about it."

     "But... why is it 'for young people?'"

     "Amanda," I said, still chuckling, "when kids are growing, the
first thing they discover about sex is what they're interested in.
Basically, you know, whether they're gay or straight, or what.  And
then, going outside their species, that's another step, I guess.  And,
that step needs a name.  But, after a while, we stop calling it that,
and start calling it- lovemaking.  'Cause, that's what it is.  You're
not having straight sex, or gay sex, or rhysh sex, or gay rhysh, or
whatever; you're just having sex.  Or making love.  With someone, that's
the whole point."

     "Oh."  She said it with a very small voice.

     I smiled.  "Amanda, can I tell you something?"  There was a pause,
but she didn't say anything.  "It's a deep secret, Amanda.  Only Kathy
knows about it.  And I want to tell you."

     "What?" she said.

     "Ever since I boarded the 'Elen and met you, I have wanted to get
to know you."

     "You have?"  Her voice brightened.

     "Yeah.  I have.  On a physical point, I've never made love to a
Centaur.  But, you have, although I can't see them right now, the
prettiest eyes, and the sweetest voice I've been near in a long time, my
coimelin not included, for obvious reasons."  She chuckled at that.
"But, even past that, I want to know you.  You're like Kathy is, and she
means a lot to me, and you seem to mean a lot to her, so I want to know
why."

     "Do you want to... now?"

     I thought about it.  "No, I don't think so.  Can you wait a few
weeks, until I can see what I'm doing?"

     "O-kay," she said, with a little grumble.  "Can I ask you a
question?"

     "Sure."

     "What is that think on Kathy's leg?"

     "What thing?"

     "The black mark... the 'eldar,' four stars."

     "You mean my symbol.  That's a brand."

     "A what?"

     "A brand.  Uh... a scar, made by a burn."

     There was a long quiet.  "You made that?"

     "Yes.  She asked me to.  As a reminder of our relationship
together, back in '512."

     "Did it hurt?"

     "You'd have to ask her, but I imagine it hurt like hell."

     "Then why did you do it?"

     "Why don't you ask her?  She actually wants you to ask her."

     "She does?"

     "I think so."  There a small buzzing sensation on my wrist.  My
watch was telling me it was time attend to some duties.  "Amanda, I've
got things to do.  Just do me a favor, and talk to Kathy.  And I'll see
you sometime soon."

     "I'll do that."  I heard her lean a little closer, and I moved
forward as well.  Her hands found my face and we kissed, softly,
briefly.  Then we kissed again, for a little longer.

     "'Bye."

     "Goodbye, Kennet."  I grabbed Voll, and we left her to think about
our conversation.


     In the following weeks, I found a lot of time to myself.  I was
relieved of my lab duties but I continued to teach, much with Liffip's
visual aid.  I saw a lot of Kathy and Amanda, and apparently they had
had their discussion, because Kathy kissed me and hugged me and thanked
me for it.


     "So?" P'nyssa asked.

     "So, what?  I can see again.  Thanks."

     "Don't thank me, thank Liffip.  He's done all the internal surgery.
And, by the way, here."  She handed me a bottle of pills.

     "What're these?"

     "Take one every six hours, sleep or not.  They're chemical
balancers while the QBM disassembles itself and you basically piss it
away."

     "Nyss?  Does this mean I'm dangerous to someone else?"

     "Not at all.  I just don't like the idea of my coimelin getting
chromium poisoning."

     "Fair enough.  Is it just me, or is it very red in here?"

     "We've got low red lights on.  Red's the easiest color for the eye
to adjust to.  Whenever you're ready."

     "I'm ready now."  I stood up and walked to the door.  When it
opened, I was blasted.  "Yeow!"

     "Told you," she said.

     I waited, and my eyes adjusted.  It resolved into sickbay.  "I can
see again," I repeated.


     "BOO!"

     "Ack!"  I turned around to see my attacker and came face to face
with Amanda.  "You!... Hi!  What are you doing here?"  We were on the
planet of Sendra, around the star of Sen.  The natives are vaguely
ursine, with wide-spaced eyes and vanilla-colored noses.  Sendar is an
economic power in this sector of the galaxy, and we were here to check
on a claim by a Terran vessel that somewhere in the Sen system was a
pirating consortium.  I had trouble believing it; piracy is too
expensive to be profitable.  On the other hand, the captain of the
Pegasus was considered trustworthy, so here we were.

     "Shopping, what else?"  She smiled broadly.

     "No, no.  I mean, out of the entire planet, why are you here?"

     "The Capital city seemed as good a choice as any.  I see you can
see now."

     "Yup.  Are you, uhm... still interested in what we discussed
earlier?"

     "You mean..."  I nodded.  "Yes!  Of course!  When?"

     I laughed.  "You're so anxious.  How about tonight?"

     "Tonight?  Sure.  Where?"

     "How about my room?"

     "What about Doctor Traken?"  I liked the fact that she seemed
earnestly worried about P'nyssa's reaction.

     "I've already dealt with it," I said.  Actually, I had.  There
would be no conflict.


     The doorbell rang, and I ran to open it.  I wanted to greet her at
the door.

     She stood there, dressed simply in a long, light blue shirt that
ended right on her back but trailed down the front until almost between
her legs.  Her hair had been carefully cleaned and brushed, and the
pastel blue tint had returned.  She smiled.  "Do I look pretty?" she
asked.

     "Beautiful," I responded.  "Come in."  She stepped in and the door
closed behind her.  She jumped a little when it did.  "Nervous?"

     She nodded.  "I'm sorry, Kennet.  It's just..."

     "What?" I asked.  "Here."  I handed her a glass of champagne.

     She shook her head.  "I don't know.  I feel... strange.  I don't
know, maybe this isn't a good idea."

     I sat down on the floor.  P'nyssa and I had decided to not have
furniture, but instead go with a thick carpet and throw pillows.  I feel
comfortable sitting on a floor.  I gestured for her to come down with
me.

     She sat down and said, "I don't know.  I mean, I'm only
twenty-five, and you're seven hundred years old.  I guess I just don't
know how to deal with... the differences."

     "You're not bothered by my being Vatare', are you?"

     She shook her head.  "No, not really.  Well... A little.  But it's
not that big a deal."

     "Well, I'll tell you this.  I feel a little manipulative, and
certainly a little bit like a dirty old man."

     She laughed.  "No, I don't think so.  Does it bother you that I'm a
Centaur?"

     "Well, I've never slept with a Centaur before, so this a bit of an
experiment.  Will you be upset if I make a complete fool of myself?"

     She shook her head and sipped her wine.  We talked for a while.  I
found myself getting caught up in her talking about herself, and yet I
was also surprised by how rapt she was when I talked about the events of
my life before she was born.  I have such a life history, I imagine it's
easy to get caught up when I talk about my adventures, but she was just
absorbing it all.  And her beautiful brown eyes sparkled as we talked.

     I ended up lying on the floor on my back, she on her side.  We
crept closer to each other until our heads were just cents apart, and
then I closed the distance and kissed her on the cheek.  She lazily
turned her head towards me and kissed my lips gently.  We kissed again.
And again.  Her lips were sweet and a soft, her breath warm.  Between
her and the alcohol, I felt very safe and relaxed.  She'd been drinking
more than I had, but then she had four times the body mass I did.  I
wondered if she was as relaxed as I was; from the kiss it felt like she
was.  We parted, and the smile she gave me assured me she felt as calm
as I did.

     There was absolutely no rush, no pressure.  I kissed her forehead,
and she giggled.  "Is it safe to say, 'I love you?'" she asked.

     I pulled back and said, "You don't even know me."

     She shrugged and said, "I know.  But I think I can trust you."

     I kissed her throat and said, "Doesn't mean you love me."

     She shrugged again and said, "I still love you."

     I laughed and kissed her jaw.  She took my head in her hands and
began to pepper my cheek with kisses.  It tickled.  I laughed and slid
my hand under her shirt.  Her human half was warm and smooth as I
caressed her belly, then slowly moved my fingers over to her side and
tickled her.  I got very little response.  She looked at me and said
"I'm not ticklish."

     "I bet I could find a place on you that is ticklish."

     "I don't think you will," she said in a sing-song.

     "You just wait."  I pulled gently on her shirt, and she propped
herself up to help me ease it off.  Her breasts were large and firm and
I controlled my instinct to dive right in.  I realized then what it was
about her that made her so magnificent in her own way.  Even lying down,
it was clear that she had a perfect posture, and that her h-spine was
straight and she made it look so easy.  I reached around behind her and
caressed her back, rubbing gently.  The effort brought us close
together, and I kissed her again.  She cooed softly as I rubbed and
scratched her.  Her hands returned the favor.

     I rose up to a sitting position, and eased myself over until I was
behind her.  I began to give her a comprehensive backrub, and she
splayed out on the floor and enjoyed it.  I reached her scage and worked
my way down her e-spine as well, dodging her tail which flicked idly
back and forth and finally ceased moving at all. The thought ran through
my mind that usually, I do this to put P'nyssa to sleep.

     I turned back to head and kissed her neck, gently biting her.  She
moaned softly.  I began nipping her down along her spine, and she
shuddered in response.  I made my way down to the barrel torso of her
equine half, and over her to her forelegs.  I again slid over her and
slipped my head between her forelegs.  "What are you doing?" she
murmurred.  I didn't answer with words; instead, I found my target and
bit my teeth down around where her ribcage and shoulder came together,
gnawing softly.  SHe exploded into paroxysms of laughter.  I didn't
stop, but continued to nibble on her.

     "Okay! You win! You win! I'm ticklish! I'm tickl..." she couldn't
complete the word, she was laughing so hard.

     I stopped, stuck my head out between her legs and looked up the
length of her body.  "I guess you are."

     "How did you know that?"  She said, still gasping for air.

     "Carroll told me that, a long time ago.  She said she's never met a
Centaur who couldn't be tickled that way."

     "She was right.  Come here?"  I guess this is the first time I've
ever had a lover that was so large I had to physically move significant
distances.  I eased my way out from between her forelegs and over to
her.  I kissed her gently and caressed her teats gently with my fingers.
"Wait," she said.  "There's something I want to try."

     "What?"

     "Well," she said, "I've never been able to do this with my
Stalfriends... Lie down and take off your clothes."  I complied
willfully.  She bent over and without much ado took my cock into her
mouth.  It hardened almost immediately in response.

     She wasn't experienced, as she had admitted, but she was definitely
enthusiastic, and I lay back and enjoyed it.  My cock lengthed to it's
fullness and I could feel her engulfing the entire length, her lips
pressing against my belly and balls.  I shook with the intensity of
sensation.

     "Do you like that?" she asked, softly, pulling away.

     "Do you?"

     She looked at me and said, "Absolutely."  She gave a mock frown and
said, "I think I'm going to have to date hominids more often.  I've
definitely found a taste for..."  I laughed.

     She returned to what she was doing.  I found just enough thought to
grab one of the larger throw pillows and propped myself up to watch.
She brushed her blue hair out of the way so I could, as her lips slid
along the length of my cock and her tongue pressed hard against the
base, and slowly my orgasm rose... "Amanda..." I gasped.  She stopped
and looked up, but didn't take my cock out of her mouth.  "Careful," I
said.  She shrugged and then did take my cock out, saying, "I'll never
know if I like it until I try it."

     I eased back against the pillow as she swallowed my cock.  She
pressed the head of my cock against the back of her throat.  She seemed
to have no trouble with it, and very soon she had me trembling,
desperate for that last, single thrust I needed.  She teased me
mercilessly, slowing down and speeding up, until she gave me one last
thrust and I came, groaning loudly and pushing my hips up against her
mouth.  "Oh, Amanda..."

     I opened my eyes and looked at her.  She was watching me, smiling,
one tiny droplet of my thick semen clinging to her chin.  I eased myself
up to a sitting position, leaned over and licked the droplet off, then
kissed her.  She tasted thick and salty and wonderful, and somewhere in
that kiss we began to giggle simultaneously.

     "So how was I?" she asked.

     "Incredible.  Simply incredible.  That has to be one of the best
I've ever had."

     "Really?"  That girlish tone again.

     "Really.  That was awesome."

     She kissed me again, throwing her arms around me, and said "I'm so
glad you liked it!  I loved it too, and I want to do it again!"

     I giggled.  "Why don't we wait until I'm ready?"

     She nodded, and my hands found her breasts again, slowly caressing
them.  I bent down and began to lick softly, enjoying the firm smooth
texture.  She cooed softly.

     I looked up at her and said, "Since that was your first time, why
don't I return the favor?"

     "How so?"

     "I've never gone down a Centaur, myself."  I made my way down her
body, feeling a little daunted by her size, wondering idly just how much
effect I was going to have with 320 kilos of Centaur.  For that matter,
while I was aware, on an intellectual level, of Centaur sexuality and
the changes I'd made from the equine basic, was I really going to know
what I was doing?

     "Kennet?"

     "Hmmm?" I said quietly as I made my way down between her hind legs.

     "I took your advice, and took a bath before coming over."

     "My advice?  How so?"

     "I read your book."  I laughed.  I've been getting some interesting
responses since Dave and I started publishing the Journal Entries, but
this was the first time I'd ever gotten one from a lover.

     "I wasn't worried, sweetheart."  But I was pleased that she cared
enough.  I worked my way down between her hindlegs, but she rolled over
onto her back and supported herself by stuffing a heavy comforter under
her self and using my throw pillow to support her head.  Where her two
spines met was an incredibly supple support, like all Centaurs.

     But I felt a little odd.  Because she was so large, her entire body
was splayed before me.  It was as if I was settling down for a meal.
But then, I guess I was.

     I leaned over and kissed her belly.  It all seemed just a little
surreal, and perhaps just a little perverse.  Up until now, almost all
of what we'd done had concentrated on her hominid nature, not her
equine.

     I kissed my way down until I felt the soft ridge of flesh that
marked the top of her Centaur cunny and ran my tongue over it.  She
cooed, and her body shuddered.  I worried idly about her hooves.

     Her cunt flexed softly, and I felt that with my tongue.  I smiled.
It was more important that she enjoy what I do than I wonder about what
I was doing.  I licked my way down into the large crevasse that was her
pussy, tasting her juices and finding the small, tight ridge where all
the nerve ending come together, the Centaur clitoris.  I avoided that
for a moment, and licked around, surprised about the how much I had to
move my head.  It was idly like licking a small bowl, or perhaps a
coffee cup; that's how large her cunt was.  I turned to her clit and
began to lick, firmly and insistently.  She groaned and gasped.
"Yes..."  she breathed.  I ate her, enjoying the taste and surprised at
my own enthusiasm.  "Kennet... I'm coming..." and her body shuddered,
easy spasms running along her body.  I looked up at her and she smiled.

     "You're good at that."

     "Thank you," I said.

     "What's wrong?" she asked.

     "I dunno.  I guess I don't feel big enough, physically, to feel
like I'm making an impact on you."

     "Come here," she said again, and this time I stood up and walked
over to her, sitting easily on her equine ribcage and leaning over,
holding myself up with one arm so that I was right over her.

     "Kennet, when you did that, no matter how big I am compared to you,
everything really became concentrated on my pussy, really it did.  I
don't think it matters if you're human or Centaur."

     "Tell me something," I said.

     "What?"

     "Well, because all Stals are, well, hung like horses, it's like you
said, it's kind of hard to go down on them.  Are Stals reluctant to eat
Mares?"

     She thought for a second and said, "I don't think so, no really.
Most are pretty enthusiastic about it.  I think you'd have to ask a Stal
about it though."  She batted playful at my hardened cock which stuck up
firm against my belly.  "Wanna do something about that?" she asked.

     "Like what?" I asked.

     "Well... I'd really like to be fucked right now."

     "Amanda, compared to the average stallion, there's not much my cock
is going to do inside you."

     She pouted and said, "Yeah.  I know!"  She grinned mischieviously.
"Why don't you put it in my hind?"

     "Have you ever had anal sex before?" I asked.

     "No.  But I know I'd like it with you."

     "But... wouldn't you like to have something in you cunt?"

     "Like what?"

     "Well..." I thought for a second.  "I've got a dildo you could
use."

     "That's very sweet, Kennet, but I doubt any dildo you own could be
a lot bigger than your penis."

     "You just watch," I said, laughing.  I rose and ran into the
bedroom.  I came out with my hands behind my back.  "Ready?" I asked.

     "Let me see it."

     I showed her one of my favorite toys.  She reeled back and said
"MyFa, that thing's larger than most Stals.  Kennet, that thing is
bigger than your arm!"

     "Amanda, meet Mjolnir.  Actually, that's a comparison I've never
made before."  I held the dildo against my forearm.  "Actually, it's not
really larger.  It's about the same size."

     "It's still huge!  You can take that?  Or is that P'nyssa's?"

     "It's mine.  Trust me."

     "What was it called? Mi-ol-"

     "Mi-yol-nir.  It's from Terran mythology, it's the name of the
hammer of the thunder god Thor of the Norse religion."

     "Where did it get a funny name like that?"

     "Well, it's a long story."

     "Tell me?" she said with that childlike tone.

     "Well, did you and Kathy talk about our relationship?"  She nodded.
"Okay, well a long time ago, I had a master who gave me a large, black
dildo that I thought he rather callously nicknamed 'Luthor.'  It wasn't
nearly as big is this.  But later he gave me a larger one, and he said I
should name it.  Somewhere between the first toy and the second, someone
told me that the name Luthor meant 'Little Thor,' and was a diminutive
phrase.  I've no idea how true that was, but I decided to call the new
toy 'Thor,' which sort of got around the embarrassing sterotyping of the
original toy.  It also sorta elevated the practice of playing with my
toys to the sort of spiritual exercise that Leathermen so love to
analogize with.  Dannel used to order me to go 'worship Thor.'"  She
smiled.

     "Well, anyway, somewhere along the way I lost Thor, don't really
know where.  So when I found this thing, which is just a little bigger
than Thor was, I decided to nickname it 'Thor's Hammer.'  When I found
out the traditional name, it stuck.  Besides, when I go to Rick's
Underground, it lets me tell this story."

     She laughed.  "You set me up!"

     "I did indeed.  I set everyone up who asks me why this thing has
such a funny name."  I leaned over and kissed her.  She kissed me back,
hard and fast, her hands seeking out my cock, which needed little urging
back to full flare.
    "Go ahead," she said.  I stood up and walked around to her
hindquarters, kneeling down.  She lay down along the length of her own
body, so that when I pushed her tail out of the way the brown hair of it
mingled with the purple hair of her head.  I was looking into her eyes,
and down at my erection that was poised at her anus.  Her forelegs were
fully folded up and her eribs pressed to the floor; her hind legs were
not folded so tightly, so that when I kneeled we were perfectly matched.
With my fingers I spread lubricant over Mjolnir before her eyes, then
over my cock, which was more out of her sight.  I took Mjolnir and
pressed it into her cunt.  She closed her eyes, and began to breath
deeply.  Her cunt spread open until the head was in and then the  dildo
slid completely into her, the flared base being the only thing hanging
out.  I grabbed a pillow, shoved it between my legs and up against the
dildo to hold it in place.  "How does that feel?" I asked.

     "Filling..." she said.  "I can't believe that thing fits in you.
In me it feels so big."

     "I can.  Ready?"

     "Yes."  Her eyes had opened, and I looked into them.  With one hand
I guided my cock against her anus, and I watched as I pressed it against
her and it slid into her.  She gasped.  I slid all the way into her, my
hips pressed against her hindquarters.  I could feel the knot at the
base of her tail pressed against my belly.  And she was tight, oh she
was tight.

     "How's that?" I said, barely above a whisper.

     "Feels... like it's burning, a little."

     "Hurt?"

     "No... No.  Go on."  I obeyed, pulling out and then sliding back
in.  Although I'm no stranger to anal sex, I'm always amazed by how
different, how incredibly smooth and soft it is compared the textured
insides of the vagina.  I breathed deep and looked down at her.  She
smiled at me and held her arms up to me.  I bent over and kissed her,
her arms around me.  I moved up to her breasts, which I could just
barely reach if I stretched.  I concentrated on fucking her asshole as I
nibbled gently on her nipples, and her mouth sought out and returned the
favor to my nipples and her hands reached up and grabbed my cock.

     It was incredibly complex, for a second, and it was so different.
If she'd been human, it would have taken at least two of her to do what
we were doing.  My cock began to take over, though, and I raised up and
grabbed her hindquarters firmly, starting to pound her, to fuck her
hard.  She moaned.

     I moved my legs a little closer, and shifted the pillow underneath
us so that with every thrust I'd push against the pillow, and the dildo
in her cunt, which in turn pressed up against my cock buried in her
asshole.

     My cock tightened, and I stopped concentrating on anything else.  I
began pounding her as hard as I could.  I wanted to come, and I leaned
over so my head was pillowed against her magnificent, firm teats as I
pounded her for my last, final thrusts and screamed my pleasure and lust
for her.

     I gasped for air and picked myself up off of her.  My cock
slithered out of her with delicious wonder.  "Kennet?" she asked.

     "Yeah?" I said.

     "I'm impressed."

     I began to laugh.  "Thank you.  Impressed with what?"

     "You don't have to be a Centaur to get my attention."

     I kept laughing.  "Oh, thank you, Amanda.  You okay?"

     "I'm wonderful."

     "You're also gorgeous."  We lay together for a while, and then she
twisted some of my hair in her fingers and said, "Think we should clean
up?"

     "I think we sould."  I stood up and stretched, then bent over and
picked up Mjolnir.  I reached to her and I helped her up.  She rose
unsteadily on four wobbly legs.  I dropped Mjolnir in the bathroom sink
and then I said, "We're going to have to go to your room.  My shower
isn't big enough for you."

     "Can I have a towel, then?  I think I need to clean a little before
we go."

     I smiled and tossed her one from the bathroom, then pulled on my
jumpsuit and grabbed a second, cleaner one.  We went to her cabin.


     Late at night, I awoke.  I was not lying in my own bed, and it took
me a while to remember that I was in Amanda's cabin.  She lay on her
side, a pillow under her head and another between her forelegs.  She lay
fully stretched out, along the length of her body.  I shifted over
against her and put my arm around her torso.  My hand nestled against
her breasts.  I found the sensation delightful, and as I touched her I
found fascination in the small hairs of her body tickling the hair on
the back of my hand.  I enjoyed the angles of her breasts against her
body, and the softness of her belly, which still felt of baby fat.  As
my hand sought down further, I found the rougher hair of her forecage,
and then down over her foreshoulders and the rising and falling of her
equine ribs.  The hair of her equine back tickled against my legs.

     All of it fascinated me.  I began to enjoy that sensation, of being
fascinated.  I kissed her shoulder, wrapped her closer to me and closed
my eyes.  Good night, Amanda.  And you're right, I thought, it is okay
to love me.  I smiled as sleep claimed me.
--
"Amanda"
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., And Related Tales
are (c) 1989, 1990 Elf Matheiu Sternberg.  May be freely distributed by
cybernetic media; hardcopies are limited to single printings for
personal use.