Archive-name: JourEntr/j918-133.txt
Archive-author: Elf Matheiu Sternberg
Archive-title: Memories Breaking


     Nickolai's Letter, June 15th, 2802
 
          Dearest Jofuran,
 
          Somehow, it doesn't feel like I'll be in your arms in a
     few days, but tomorrow we start out on the long journey to
     Pendor.  I expect you'll be seeing our ship pull in about
     seven days from when you receive this message.  You can
     check the schedule yourself; the ship we're taking is called
     the Off-Centaur.

          Yes, "we."  Garth is coming along.  It was a
     last-minute thing, but he decided to take his vacation time
     on Pendor; he's going for a full month vacation, including
     two weeks of flight time, so a total of six weeks.  It's
     pretty expensive, but since I've already got tickets I'm
     helping him along.

          I'm sorry Kiza and you had your fight, but I'm glad you
     two patched things up, and I hope she's really ready like
     you say she is to deal with me taking up most of your time
     for a while.  There's this whole range of stuff you and I
     are going to have to talk about when I get there.

          Like Liz.  She's become very important to me as a
     friend and as a lovemate, really.  Neither she nor I would
     ever let myself choose her over you; she's got too much
     self-respect for that.  But I want to put that "on the
     table," so to speak, that she's a friend and she's important
     to me.  I want us to agree on how we're going to deal with
     "outside" lovers when I get there, because somehow I feel
     there will be others we'll want to have in our hearts and
     against our bodies the way I have you, and the way you have
     Kiza and I, Liz.
 
          I love you, Furry, and I always will.  Don't ever
     forget that; you're the most important person in the
     universe to me.  I can't wait to see you; already I can
     remember, clearer than in months, the smell of your clean
     fur and the feel of your ears flickering.  I miss you.
 
          Love you,
 
               Nickolai.
 
     p.s.  Since he's coming along, you can ask him yourself what
     he does when I tell him that you and Kiza are sleeping
     together.

 
 
     Nickolai felt warm hands on his back as he sat on the edge of the
bed.  It was just an hour before dawn, and he couldn't sleep.
"Nickolai?"

     He turned around and smiled sadly.  "It's nothing, Liz.  I just
keep thinking about all the changes that are coming."

     She nodded.  "I wouldn't dream of asking you to reconsider."

     He laid back down beside her and kissed her cheek softly.  "Thanks.
I appreciate that."

     Her hands roamed over his body, caressing the skin of his chest
until they came to rest on his flaccid penis, which she began to stroke
back to life.  "We've only been together six times in the past year and
a half, Nickolai.  But from what you've told me of Furry, the amount of
time we've spent adds up to all the time you spent with her.  I don't
know if that means you put me somewhere on a spectrum near her or not.
But I want you to go through with your original plan, Nickolai."

     He felt the blood coursing back into his groin.  "Any reason why?"

     "I just feel that it's right for you.  You made promises, Nickolai,
and you've always kept your promises to me.  If I asked you to break
your promise to Furry, I would be asking her to accept something I never
had to, and I would be destroying your honor.  I don't think I could
ever ask for that."

     He leaned close and kissed her cheek; she turned her head and
demanded his kiss on her lips, which he gave.  Their tongues wrestled
between their mouths, tasting lips and teeth as well.  Elizabeth moaned
softly as his fingers dug between her legs, pressing against her lips,
already coated once in their juices from lovemaking earlier that night. 
"You know, Liz, you've been the best friend I could have asked for the
past two years."

     "What about Garth?"

     "Garth is a roommate, and besides, neither he nor I really likes
guys.  He's going with me, you know."

     "You didn't tell me that," she said, her fingers encircling his
testicles and scratching playfully.

     He gasped, inhaling deeply.  "Wow.  Yeah, he said he always wanted
to visit Pendor, so he's going with me since I have a native guide."

     "That's really sweet of you," Liz said.  Her hands both worked over
Nickolai's firm cock.  "Are you ready for another round?" she asked.

     "With you?" he asked.  "You've gotta be kidding.  I'm definitely
ready for another round."

     She smiled as her hands worked along the length of his shaft.  "You
know what I love about your cock?  It's so normal.  So many guys I know
are getting those length-increases or thicknesses and I just can't stand
it."

     "I think I'd be scared to let someone or something close to my dick
with a knife," Nickolai joked.

     "You know what I want?" she asked, her voice developing a soft,
husky flavor to it.

     "What?" Nickolai said, his head starting to swim with desire for
her.  If she didn't stop, he was going to throw her on her back and take
her hard in about ten seconds.

     "I want to do something nasty for a going-away present.  Something
nice people don't do."  She pushed him down onto his back with one free
hand and leaned over, her face inches from his.  Her lips curled into a
snarl.  "Nickolya," she said, her voice deep and purring, "I want you to
fuck me in my tight little asshole.  I want you to take that natural
hard cock and give me a buttfucking so deep and so hard that a week from
now I won't be able to sit down without remembering you."

     He grinned and rose up, pushing her down onto the bed.  "Roll over,
Liz.  That wish is definitely my command."

     She rolled over as he directed, face-down to the bed and her legs
spread, the natural tension of her thigh muscles shoving her ass into
the air invitingly.  "Have you got anything to lube this with?"

     "There's baby oil in my bag," she said.  "By the bed."

     He leaned over and found her bag.  He tore it open and the bottle
was large and easy to find.  He poured some onto his hands and began
stroking his cock, watching as his cock grew shiny and slick in the pale
light filtering through the dormitory window.  He poured some down the
crack of her ass, watching as it collected in a tiny pool over her anus.
"Get ready," he said.

     "I am," she breathed.

     He leaned forward, his hard cock aimed directly for her asshole.
He watched as it touched her hole, and he began pressing.  She moaned
into the pillow.  Slowly he felt her rear passage opening up to him, and
he could feel the length of it gripping his pole, holding him as he
penetrated deeply into her.  Suddenly he was buried within her asshole,
his hips against her upturned buttocks.  The searing heat of her rectum
pressed from all sides against his cock, the tightness of her opening
gripping the base of his shaft.  "Oh... Nickolai...."

     He slowly began withdrawing.  She was so tight her anus tugged on
his foreskin, making it seal up around his cock as he withdrew.  He
gasped; her asshole was incredibly tight and unbelievably hot.  The
position was just perfect.  He slid down into her again.  "Oh, yes," she
gasped.

     "You like that?"

     "I love that," she moaned.  "Please, do it again, Nickolai, do it
harder."

     He smiled as he watched his cock withdraw from her asshole, then
plunged in again.  "Yes!" she groaned.  "Oh, yes..."

     He took that as a hint and began to fuck her, gently at first, but
he wasn't waiting between strokes to make sure she was okay.  He was
sure she would tell him if things got to be too much.  His strokes
became harder as she urged him on, grunting and groaning.  He could see
her, her head turned against the pillow, a chunk of fabric gripped in
her teeth, sweat pouring off her temples.  He looked down to see her
perfect ass ripple with every impact of his hips against them, his cock
buried deep within her.

     His first orgasm had been hours ago, and he often prided himself on
being able to come more than once in a night, but tonight he found
himself teetering on the verge of orgasm constantly, never quite getting
there.  He pressed himself onwards, feeling the great pressure welling
within him as he shoved his cock deeper into her asshole, up into her
guts.  She growled and gnawed at the pillow.  "Oh, Kolya, yes..."

     His cock began to hurt; he had been hard for almost too long, but
he felt that if he kept pushing he could make it... if he could just get
that one last moment of feeling.

     He began to pound against her, his hips slamming against her
buttocks, jamming her body against the squeaky bedframe, and finally he
came, exploding within her, filling her asshole with his come as he felt
it shoot out of him, over and over.  He growled, his teeth clenched as
his cock jerked and spasmed inside her ass.

     "Liz..." he gasped.

     "Will that help you remember me?"

     "Oh, Elizabeth, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget how that
felt."  He rolled off of her slowly, feeling his cock seemingly "pop"
out of her asshole as he did so.  "Wow."

     She reached back with both her hands; he watched, fascinated, as
she rubbed her buttocks.  "I know I'm going to be feeling that for a
week," she said.  "I'll be lucky if I'm not feeling you a month from
now."

     He pulled her close.  "Liz, that was wonderful."

     She giggled.  "I'm glad you liked it; I've never done that before."

     "What?" he asked.  "You're kidding."

     "I was playing with myself, in the shower, with my fingers, back
there and it felt good.  I figured asking you was the next step."

     "God, Liz, I wish you'd told me.  I would've been gentler."

     "And if you had been gentler, Kolya, I wouldn't have found out how
wonderful it really is.  That was beautiful."

     "Wow... I mean, thanks, Liz.  I don't know what I can do..."

     She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand, a small grimace
crossing her face.  "Cramp," she said.  "That's new.  Nickolai, just by
being the gentleman you are, you've done enough.  I'm going to send you
on your way at noon, you know.  Make Furry a good mate, for as long as
you both last.  Understand?"

     He nodded.  "I won't forget you."

     "I don't expect you to," she said.  "I won't forget you either.
Maybe..."  She let her words trail off.

     "What?"

     "Nothing."

     "Tell me."

     "No, Kolya.  Drop it.  Let's just get some sleep, okay?"

     He nodded, his body demanding sleep as he felt himself growing more
and more tired.  She pulled him close, down into the quietus of
exhaustion.  He closed his eyes.

 
 
     They stood on the tarmac facing each other.  Garth had grabbed his
suitcase and put it aboard the airvan that was to take them to Heathrow.
"Come on, Kolya!"

     He ignored his Katckin friend for a moment, reaching up to touch
Liz's cheek with the backs of his fingers.  "This is goodbye."

     "Yeah," she said, smiling.  "I can still feel you inside me.  I'll
miss you."

     "I'll miss you too."  The wind whipped past them, most of it from
the ducted turbines of the airvan.  "Look, about last night... You're
retaining your Terran residency, right?  I mean, you're not going
Hallwalking, you said.  So... maybe someday, if I'm not busy, I could
look you up and get a contract out of you, maybe?"

     Nickolai's jaw dropped.  He recovered gracefully if not quickly.
"I'd like that," he said, raising his voice over the rising whine.  He
reached into his carry-on bag and dug around for a moment.  Finally, he
said, "Here, take this.  You and I both know it's pretty meaningless as
is, but I want you to have it."

     "This is your Right of Replacement Reg Card."

     "So I lost it, or it was stolen, or something.  It's just fast
symbolism.  I can get another one based on a minorly comprehensive DNA
scan.  Keep that one.  You can return it to me, if you're ever serious."

     "Kolya!  They're closing the door in one minute!"  Garth's voice
was becoming frantic.

     "I'm so glad we're handling this like adults!" Liz shouted over the
growing whine from the airbus.

     "Fuck adulthood!" Nickolai replied.  He pulled her close, his lips
pressed hard against hers for one last time.  "I love you, Liz."

     "And I love you, too, Nickolai.  Take care of Furry; she deserves a
man as good as you are!"

     "I will!" he promised.  "Goodbye!"

     "Bye! she shouted as he turned on his heels and ran for the door of
the airvan.  He vaulted the steps two at a time, and as he crossed the
threshold, the door closed behind him.

     He found a seat inside, next to Garth.  "That was cutting it
close," the Katckin observed dryly.

     "I had a lot to say," Nickolai replied, looking out the window.  As
the bus lifted into the air, he could see Liz down below them, one hand
covering an ear to protect it, but the other waved slowly.  He waved
back, and smiled to himself.

     "I have created a monster," Garth said.

     "How so?"

     "Well, when I set out to cure you of the mopin'-bout-my-girlfriend
blues, I didn't expect you to get yourself entangled with two different
women."

     "I'm not entangled," Nickolai said.  "I'm just... involved."

     "Involved, entangled, whatever.  Was that your RoR card I saw you
hand her?"  Nickolai nodded.  "Cheap symbolism without an official
registration."

     "That's what I told her," Nickolai said.  "Still, she can always
pop back into my life someday and maybe then..."

     "Maybe.  So, are you ready for Pendor?"

     "Absolutely," Nickolai replied.

--
"Memories Breaking"
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., And Related Tales
are (c) 1989, 1992 Elf Matheiu Sternberg.  May be freely distributed by
cybernetic media; hardcopies are limited to single printings for
personal use.
--
elf@halcyon.com  (Elf Sternberg)