"Journey into electric darkness"
by VoltsJolts
WARNING, do not repeat any of the acts I describe here. They were
stupid and dangerous and could have resulted in serious injury or
death. This is a true personal account of how I got involved with
bdsm and electric play as an ignorant person blind to the
deadliness of my homemade toys. It was extremely stupid and
dangerous and I could have killed myself multiple times. I am not
posting this as any form of encouragement to others and I would
discourage everyone from starting down this path especially at an
early age.
I am a grown adult now but got into bdsm, electric play, and self
bondage on my own early in life with absolutely no influence from
anyone else. Until posting this story to the net it has been a
complete and dark secret of mine. It is a bad idea to say what
exact age I started but let's just say it was the very beginning
of puberty.
I was playing with an instructional electronics kit and made a
mistake involving a relay and an audio transformer and produced a
square-wave ac signal. I touched the transformer output by mistake
and felt a shock. The feeling immediately captured my interest so
I explored further by touching two wires to various parts of my
body. Fortunately, I knew enough safety to not do anything stupid
like connect a circuit across the heart. After playing with feet,
legs and butt cheeks i tried sticking one wire up my ass and
touching the other one just on the outside. With the contact area
of single bare wires being so small the sensation was instant
pinpoint burning pain. I didn't like that right away but I knew
there had to be something worth further investigation.
The first step in my exploration was to go from a mistake to a
serious electro shock circuit. I used a simple relay interrupter
hooked up to pulse into a transformer. The frequency was too high
at first and produced a tickle buzzy kind of feeling. I added a
capacitor across the relay to slow it down. After playing with
different values I got the frequency down to about 50hz which
caused the most powerful muscle contractions. The overall
sensation wasn't strong enough so I found ways to produce more
output. More batteries helped and the audio transformer was very
small so I pulled a larger one out of a broken radio. That made
it all too strong so I added a variable resistor adjust the output
intensity.
Next, it was time to build and test various electrodes to see what
they felt like. Larger surface area contacts produced less
burning and more of a deeper shock than small contacts. Also, if
one electrode was large and the other was small then all of the
sensation of shock would come from the smaller side. It was fun
to place a large foil contact on each butt cheek and cause
powerful contractions. From internal anal experimentation, I
found that the greatest sensitivity and muscle response was only
1/2 to 1 inch inside. I placed an electrode deep inside thinking
it would be better and more sensitive but it didn't do much even
with full power. With low power there was no feeling at all and
on higher settings it just produced a weird sick nauseous ache
inside that made me want to throw up. It wasn't very fun and I
was worried I would damage some internal organ and abandoned the
deep stuff. Back to the outer regions of the anus I discovered
that two circular electrodes around the probe produced pain but
not much in the way of contractions. Side-by-side contacts
running front to back caused a powerful response. Using the large
transformer and touching the battery to it manually for just one
shock pulse caused a contraction hard enough to jerk my whole
lower body around.
It is hard to remember or describe exactly what I first liked
about doing this. The sensations were just so addictive. It was
unexplainable but I just liked this specific kind of pain from
electricity and liked it best in my anus and nowhere else. I
wanted more of it and I could not be stopped. I kept getting used
to the shock level and wanting a more and more powerful sensation.
I started adding more batteries and an even bigger transformer.
The circuit was finally capable of an output level so high I could
not work up the raw nerve to turn the resistor all the way down.
Again I got used to this and after a while I got bored with all of
the things I could do to myself willingly. I wanted to feel out of
control and push my limits of pain so I hooked an off switch up to
a wind-up mechanical timer to produce a timed shock. I would try
to just lay still and take it until the timer ran out but any
level of shock I could start with would become too small after a
while so I had to keep reaching over and turning up the shock to
get more effect. That was fixed by hooking up a second timer to
the variable resistor so the intensity would start out very small
and automatically build up to maximum. It was exciting because
the resistor didn't always move smoothly and sometimes there would
be big sudden jumps in shock level. After I no longer needed my
hands to adjust the device I started to tie myself up somewhat to
pretend I was stuck in place. At first I would always test it out
first briefly at maximum with the electrode in my ass and make
sure I could really tolerate it full strength before I started it
up. Eventually that got boring too and I wanted true surprise. I
started adding an extra battery and starting the timers without
knowing how strong it was going to be when the resistor reached
zero. Again it was not enough because even with all the timers
there was still some level of control since i could always just
reach over and turn it off any time. I wanted total loss of
control combined with helpless submission to an unknown amount of
pain.
This was the point where it became a true twisted obsession even
at such a young age. I was addicted to this exact type of anal
pain and nothing else would turn me on. I didn't even learn to
masturbate until after I started playing with electricity and now
I was so jaded I couldn't pleasure myself one bit without it.
Here is the kind of extreme self-bondage scene I was into less
than a year after starting down this path:
I would start by hot-melt gluing a 1 1/2 inch diameter, 6-inch
long dual-contact electrode into my ass so it wouldn't fall out
when I thrashed around. Hot melt glue wont stick to the inside
smooth skin of the rectum but it will stick to the outer butt
cheeks. I didn't have any hair in that region yet but if I did it
would have pulled it off for sure. The burning of the melted glue
against my skin was like an exciting teaser for all the pain about
to come. The glue kept it in there pretty good but not enough to
prevent removal so I also used a harness of metal cable threaded
through a hole in the end of the probe and secured with a lock.
____________________________
____________________________
The power source was very advanced now. It had a delayed start
timer, measured shock duration timer, and automatic power level
increase timer. It sat 6 feet away from the bed and locked into a
desk drawer. The heavy power cable was taken from a thick outdoor
extension cord and ran out and over to the bed and around a bed
post several times to prevent any pulling from removing it from
the shock source. From there it ran up onto the bed and into the
probe in my ass. It was tied to the metal cable harness very well
to prevent being pulled out of the probe. My feet were tied
spread eagle to the bed posts with just a bit of slack and there
was a restraint pulling one hand over my head using a combination
lock and stretching out fully. I kept the other hand free to
masturbate but made sure there was no way using all of my strength
it could ever remove the electrode or free myself.
The room was pitch dark but there was a light on a regular wall
timer set to turn on just after the session was completed. Once I
closed that combination lock on my hand there was absolutely no
return because I could not see the dial in the dark. Sometimes I
hesitated a second or two but never failed to click that lock shut
and seal my fate for the next hour.
It was an unbelievable feeling just waiting there in the dark
anticipating what was about to happen. Adrenaline pumping in my
veins and my heart beating fast. Counting out the seconds and
listening to the muffled sound of timers ticking away in the
drawer wondering when it would start. Questions dancing in my
mind like how long until the power level built up to pain and
exactly how much shock was i going to get this time when the
resistor reached zero and let the full unrestricted shock flow
into my anus? Did I set the timers right and what if the off
switch didn't work this time?
When the shock started it was always just a small tickle at first
but the sexual excitement was undeniable. After about 6 minutes
it went from tickle to slight pain and I started to masturbate.
The charge slowly increased and the feeling was pure pleasure so
strong I'd get a ringing in my ears. It was a careful timed sort
of masturbation. If I came too fast then I wouldn't get the full
effect of the shock but if I waited too long the pain would get so
high it would halt the pleasure dead in its tracks. After the
orgasm hit me and started to fade, the shock-induced pleasure that
was my friend would turn against me and become all pain without
pleasure. Still, the timer on the resistor ticked down, slowly
but monotonously turning up the voltage bit by bit with the
occasional small jump as the resistor stuck a bit as it rotated.
Just a few minutes more and it hurt so bad I twisted around in bed
straining at the restraints in vain. It was no fun now, why did I
do this to myself? ... and it was too late to ask now. My mind
racing over escape plans but nothing, I was just too thorough for
my own good. I couldn't stop it no matter what I did. My whole
ass was on fire now, muscles clenching, agony ripping through my
rectum. I used a homemade gag (also locked into my mouth with a
metal cable) to prevent screaming out loud and would end up
panting through my nostrils as fast as possible because of the
pain. Still the level of shock increased and now the pain seemed
to extend out from my rectum into my whole pelvis. Maybe it took
my breath away so much I could not even have screamed without the
gag even if I tried because I was truly gasping for air as quickly
as possible just to survive. There was no way of knowing how much
time was left or if the power was all the way up yet. How can you
even begin to keep track of time when you are crazed senseless
with so much pain. It just went on and on like that for about 40
more minutes while I cried continuous silent tears and sometimes
convulsed helplessly knowing there was absolutely no escape from
pain until the timer ran out and this was all my own doing.
That was the exact mental feeling I grew addicted to, being
helpless in pain from my own actions and I had perfected a way of
achieving it on my own any time I wanted it. When the shock timer
finally finished ticking down it would turn off the shock and my
body collapsed like a rag doll. Maybe a minute or two later the
light timer activated and lit the room so I could see to undo the
lock on my hand. It was hard to do with the pain still so strong
my fingers would be weak and shaking making mistakes while trying
to dial the combination. I would look down and see my whole body
so dripping with sweat that I had soaked an outline of a myself
into the sheet. I was prepared with water in my room to
rehydrate. In a weird way I was proud that I was able to do this
thing to myself like I had achieved something worthy of praise but
also so embarrassing it was impossible to share with any other
person.
Sleep never mattered to me, when I got the craving. Sometimes I
would repeat the whole process three times in a single night. I
had this unreachable fantasy of going further and forcing myself
to take it in one big dose until I lost consciousness. I got
aroused just picturing myself laying unconscious on the bed but
still jerking around from the shocks. I never did find a way to
reach that point on my own.
Eventually, I realized this path of increasing risk and pain was
leading to something permanent and bad. My will to survive is
strong, so I quit cold-turkey and pushed it all deep into the back
of my mind. I blend in perfectly now, just another boring vanilla
middle class member of the masses doing everything the same way as
everyone else. Breaking out for just a second to share this once
secret story with you.
-voltsjolts
[Note: this story is protected by international copyright law,
all rights not expressly waived are reserved by its author.]
________________________________________
writing to . If we have their email address
on file we'll also forward your comments to the author for you.
____________________
Back to the BDSM Stories Index Page
_______________
Back to Main Stories Index Page