The Solution

BY: R/Dave (C) 1999

Doctor Bonen awoke from his troubled sleep amidst test tubes and scattered papers scribbled with ideas and formula that made no sense to anyone but himself. His grant had been rejected. For years he had tried to develop an artificial pheromone that would stimulate sexual activity, and felt he was on the threshold when the news came by wire. His mouth was dry, his hair disheveled, and he was resigned to hearing the nickname "Dr. Cupid" for the rest of his natural life. Brushing some of the debris aside he grabbed a beaker of clear liquid he assumed was tap water, and placed it over the cold burner. Reaching into his shirt pocket, he grabbed a smoke and tried to light it with the flint starter. After several failed attempts he lit the burner, then leaned into the flame, singeing some of his gray hair as he lit the crumpled butt.

Getting up from the stool, he began to shuffle the mountains of test tubes, beakers and petri dishes aside, as he searched for his coffee mug that was stained black from months of neglect. Upon discovering his instant coffee, he sat back onto the stool and idly thumbed through some of his papers until the water began to boil. As he reached over, the sleeve of his stained lab coat caught on the edge of the table, jarring his unprotected hand onto the scalding hot beaker. He yelped and withdrew his arm quickly only to upset several test tube stands and beakers filled with semen, sweat, menstrual blood, piss, and a myriad of other chemicals, some of which the doctor was even unaware. As he started nursing his burned fingers, his newly arrived lab assistant, Ms. Parker burst into the room.

"Is everything all right Dr." she inquired breathlessly?

But before he could warn her, she slipped on some of the slippery residue and crashed headlong into one of the cabinets holding more samples and specimens. It crashed on top of her, sending glass and chemical spray in all directions. Dr. Bonen ran to her aid, but before he could lift the cabinets’ remains from her wriggling form, she forcefully extracted herself, and stood upright with an expression of pure lust engraved on her homely features. Before the hapless Doctor could react she was upon him, tearing his clothes open and clawing at his hairless chest. Her shoeless feet were clawing at his pants, shredding them with her untrimmed toenails, while the doctor screamed for help. With a free hand, she covered his nose and mouth, almost strangling him until her other hand found his limp genitals. Positioning herself over his partially clothed frame, she began to hump him furiously, drooling and muttering senseless obscenities, as her hapless victim fought to free himself.

The horrific scene continued for over thirty minutes until the exhausted body of Ms. Parker rolled onto the floor, and the Doctor struggled to his feet with only a shred of fibers where his clothes had once been. Periodically she would start to hump a nearby object in desperation, only to babble some incoherent phrase and drift back into lustland. The Doctor made his way gingerly to the stool, and carefully poured the hot water that had miraculously remained undisturbed into his mug. Adding the coffee, he ran a quick mental analysis of what he just experienced and realized that the serum he sought for so many years had literally fallen into his lap. He began rejoicing silently as he took his first sip of coffee, glancing at the twitching body of his assistant and wondering if the effects were permanent. Meanwhile, amidst the piles of shattered glass and debris, a small translucent blob made its way from between Ms. Parkers’ spread legs to seek refuge under the bookcase.

Soon other members of the staff began arriving, alerted by disturbing sounds coming from the lab, only to witness the naked Doctor Bonen sipping coffee, while his long time lab assistant lay mumbling and jerking on the floor amidst a pile of debris with a look of complete contentment on her sweat streaked face and her crumpled clothes strewn about. As the Doctor began to recite the events leading up to his first sexual encounter in years, his fellow scientists became extremely focused, and began to collect samples of the debris around Ms. Parkers’ figure. Soon an ambulance arrived, along with the janitor who could only swear under his breath at the sight he beheld. Ms. Parker was rushed to the emergency room, and although extensive test and samples were taken, nothing conclusive was found and she was released to her Mothers’ custody in desperate need of bed rest. She would never work for the Doctor again, and would spend the remainder of her life in a frustrating search for sexual fulfillment.

After the last of the news reporters finally left and government representative assured him of an extension to his grant, he finally collapsed onto his stool in grateful resignation. With the lights dim, he closed his eyes for a welcomed brief respite when he heard unusual noises coming from beneath the book case. Without moving his head, he opened his eyes and spotted the glob of translucent material that had grown to the size of a bowling ball, and was moving away from the shelter of the bookcase. With a swift movement, he flipped the lights back on, and the creature quickly slithered back under the bookcase. Grabbing a metal waste basket under the light switch, he deftly moved the bookcase and slammed the metal container over the creature, sitting on it to anchor any movement. After a brief scuffle, the creature seemed to calm itself, and the Doctor slid a sheet of plastic from a nearby light table under the lip of the basket and gently turned it over.

After he studied the creature for some time, he considered his options and took action on them. Whatever this thing was, it had come from a mixture of ingredients only found in the human reproductive system. Taking every precaution to assure sterility and safety, he quickly donned his protective suit, grabbed a pair of large forceps and a portable containment unit to get a sample of the creature. As he lifted the plastic cover and eased the forceps into the undulating mass, it sprang out of the canister and out through a slightly opened window into the open air. Horrified, the Doctor darted after the creature, only to see it slide down the brick wall and into a clump of nearby bushes. Falling back in anguish, he wondered what he had just released into an unsuspecting world when he glanced over at the forceps to see a glob, roughly the size of an apple, wrapped around the tongs. Quickly grasping the handles, he put the specimen in the sealed isolation chamber and pondered his next move.

As the afternoon wore on and the Doctor dozed, the remnants of the creature began to perpetuate themselves, and by the time the evening was upon him, the creature was fully developed albeit somewhat smaller than his big brother who had escaped. With his head clear now, Dr. Bonen carefully extracted tiny samples from the cringing glob, and delivered them by hand to the hospital laboratory and an independent laboratory at the gynecological clinic just on the outskirts of town. Returning to the lab, he took another sample and studied it with all of the equipment at his disposal. He found a multitude of common elements, and one trace element he could not identify; his conclusions eventually matching those of the two labs that were studying the sample. Then, after diluting the sample with distilled water and a male pheromone extract he developed, he put the solution into a spray bottle. With his protective clothing removed, he took a brief shower in the decontamination room, and headed out into the nigh.

She was a lovely creature the Doctor had seen on campus before. Her eyes were large and black as the night as he asked her if he could sit next to her. With her smiling gesture, he accepted and carefully removed the spray bottle, letting her have a full blast to her forearm. Momentarily, she drew back, but then turned to him with eyes filled with passion and, without a word, removed her sweater and bra. Moments later, she was fondling his manhood, bringing it to a roaring erection before she eagerly climbed aboard and commenced to drain him of all of his life giving chemicals. The passion continued to build in her quivering loins, and it wasn’t until over an hour later she finally collapsed on the spent Doctors’ frame. He had perfected the solution, and soon the world would know of his genius.

But it was not in the manner he had suspected for across town, as the moon rose full, a large translucent creature arose from a bog near the laboratory, and began to engulf any creature in its path, leaving them drained sexually, but otherwise unharmed. First, there were two nuns, then two joggers out for a midnight romp, then a car with two couples necking within, a dog, then a slumber party; all attributing to the growth cycle of the beast which was now fully three stories tall, and a half of a city block in girth. It slimed its way through the silent streets, enveloping any human in its path regardless of age or gender, turning them into crazed animals with an unending sexual appetite. The first patrolman to sound the alarm was immediately enveloped even though shots were fired into the mass, and the National Guard was soon thereafter on alert. But their military efforts were largely useless, while the defending guardsmen soon became unwitting victims themselves.

Upon hearing the sex-crazed screams, the Doctor was awakened from his euphoria, and barely escaped back to the lab, as his dark eyed beauty was soon enveloped only to collapse from exhaustion. The Mayor and several high ranking officials were awaiting his return in the lab, and the government had already confiscated the isolation chamber which was on its way to a laboratory in Atlanta. Upon a heated and frustrating discussion, it was learned that light may be the only way to stop the creature; but with dawn still hours away, and far to few helicopters with searchlights at their immediate disposal, all they could do was distribute flares to the remaining troops. A quick escape route was devised, and the troops positioned themselves along the road to help guide the beast away from the populace and into the surrounding countryside where an all points bulletin was already in the works.

Unwittingly, however, the path of the creature would lead it past the gynecological labs where a large warehouse of birth control pills was stored. As the creature slid its way past the last guardsmen, it unknowingly engulfed the warehouse in an effort to secure more human prey. What it encountered was its ultimate fate for as the massive dose of estrogen entered the creatures system, it’s life support functions became paralyzed, and within a few moments, it collapsed upon itself, only to smoulder into nothingness with dawns’ first light. The Doctor was given a substantial grant to keep his findings secret, and disappeared into a large metropolitan area where he occasionally uses his spray on unsuspecting young things. The isolation chambur remains hidden deep within a government storage facility, constantly bathed in white light, and occasionally fed an unsuspecting tax evader.