Archive-name: Miscell/guidedog.txt
Archive-author: Nevyn
Archive-title: Guide to Sex with Dogs


    A few people have chatted to me via private mail, asking 
for advice on having sex with animals.  I would like to put 
down a few pointers for novices.  Let's concentrate on dogs for 
this article,  as they are the animal of my preference, and 
also I think they are the animal most furries will readily have 
access to.  I will try to explain any jargon I use,  but only 
briefly, as I don't wish this to be a technical discourse.  If 
you need clarification on terms used here, comment to me on 
Alt.Sex.Bestiality or check a good 'Encyclopaedia of Dogs'.  I 
am also only going to refer to animals that have not been de-
sexed (in the case of males, having their testes surgically 
removed.  In the case of females, having ovaries removed).  I 
can't bear the thought of any animals of mine missing out on 
sexual pleasure. Even so,  I know in any city dog populations 
are too high, and hundreds of dogs are destroyed daily. There 
are good arguments for de-sexing,  but a responsible owner 
should be able to keep an entire animal without accidental 
litters (and still keep the animal sexually satisfied!)
    Also note that when I refer to dogs,  I mean any breed 
Labrador or larger.  In my mind, anything smaller than a 
Labrador isn't really a dog.  If I refer to a 'Giant Breed', I 
am talking in the category of English Mastiff, Great Dane, St. 
Bernard, Irish Wolfhound, Newfoundland, etc.  These are REAL 
dogs.
    The first rule that leaps to my mind is this:-  the 
animal MUST BE CONSENTING!!  If the animal is enjoying the 
experience of having sex with you,  the sex is so much more 
fulfilling.  If the animal is not enjoying it,  you are 
committing rape.  If you have to force the animal into 
anything, stop.  I hope most of us would agree that we are 
animal lovers, sharing  sex with our animal partners as a gift 
of pleasure.  Any other attitude toward your animal partner 
makes you a loathsome, slimy reptile, unworthy of the status of 
a toad. So there.


    Let's start with bitches.
    Bitches become sexually mature (depending on the size of 
the breed) at around 8-18 months.  The larger the breed, in 
general,  the later they will have their first heat (Oestrous, 
the bitch becomes fertile after a 5-7 day period of menstrual 
bleeding.  Male dogs become insanely attracted to her scent, 
and will chew/dig through anything to get at her.  This lasts 
for around 7 days, followed by another 5-7 days of menstrual 
bleeding.  After that the bitch is no longer fertile.  Her next 
heat will follow in six months).
    Before her first heat, I would recommend a minimum of 
sexual activity.  Let her discover her own place as a dog 
before confusing her with too much sexuality too soon.  By all 
means caress her entire body, and around her vagina gently.  
Let her get used to your hands being everywhere on her, but 
avoid active stimulation of her clitoris at this stage.  Cuddle 
her, and love her for the puppy she is. It is a good time for 
exploration of her body and genitals for you to get used to the 
differences between her and a human partner.  You will notice 
that the entrance to her vagina is a 'Y' shape.  The tail of 
the 'Y' points toward her front, and that is where her clitoris 
is.  The lips are coated with a fine velvety fur.
    During the early stages of her first heat, the bitch may 
become depressed, or even frightened by the sudden changes in 
her.  She may start to wander off in search of a mate.  Comfort 
her and be a friend to her, and don't let her escape off your 
property.  It is now your responsibility, for the next three 
weeks, to ensure she isn't mated by the sudden hordes of randy 
male dogs hanging around your house.  Let me recommend high 
wooden fencing, and a handy bucket of cold water for potential 
suitors.
    After the first bleeding stops,  her vagina entrance will 
have enlarged quite significantly.  She may actively invite you 
to sex by turning her rump toward you, and flicking her tail 
aside every time you catch her eye. In other words, she is now 
horny, and it is up to you to relieve her.
    Get naked.  All the better to use you whole body in the 
act.  Work with her as though she were human.  That is, spend 
time caressing her, hugging her.  Play with her nipples,  which 
will have become larger and more sensitive with her heat.  
Arouse her as much as you can.  When she is really turned on, 
her vagina will be well lubricated, and she will almost be 
begging you to make her cum.  The best way to do this is to use 
one or two fingers.  If you are a male, do NOT try inserting 
your dick into her unless she is one of the Giant Breeds, (or 
you have an exceptionally small dick).  If you hurt her, she 
may become frightened of you, and will not enjoy the sex.
    Move around behind her and insert one finger gently into 
her, slowly.  If she isn't wet enough, use saliva or KY jelly.  
Don't use mineral oils or anything that isn't used for human 
sex.  As your knuckle brushes past her clitoris, it is likely 
she will sharply hump her hips downward.  This is normal.  (It 
surprised the bejesus out of me the first time it happened)  
Slowly withdraw your finger, and repeat.  She should start 
humping up and down on your finger quite strongly.  Keep in 
time to her movements, pushing up as she humps down.  Use your 
other hand to caress her nipples and stomach.  She will cum 
fairly quickly and easily (this is why sex with animals is 
better than humans...).  You can tell when she is, as you will 
feel her vaginal muscles squeezing on your finger and she will 
start convulsively licking her lips.  Try to sustain her 
pleasure for as long as you can; play with her clitoris.  
Generally treat her as you would a lover.
    If your bitch is one of the Giant breeds, and you are 
male, by all means screw her.  Highly recommended in fact.  She 
will hump your dick as readily as she will hump your finger.  
Crouch behind her (or have her stand on a slightly raised 
platform) and guide your dick into her with one hand.  Her tail 
will probably get in the way (I don't believe in cropping tails 
either), so you will probably have to drape it over one of your 
legs.  Use your other hand on her hip to steady yourself.  When 
you have your dick firmly in her, you can grasp her hips with 
both hands and thrust into her.  Mmmm, savour that warm, tight 
pussy. I usually like to bring her to orgasm by hand first, and 
then screw her afterwards, otherwise she tends to hump on my 
dick, and I will often fall out of her.  Feel free to cum 
inside her.  You will enjoy it immensely, and it is impossible 
to get her pregnant on human semen.
    After you have both orgasmed, she will probably become 
very affectionate (if she enjoyed it) and playful.  Lie with 
her for a bit, stroking her, and telling her you love her.  You 
will communicate your feelings to her.
    Don't feel constrained to wait for her next season for 
sex.  Between heats, she will still be receptive to sex,  but 
you may find she is a bit tighter.  You will probably have 
difficulty inserting your penis fully into her.  Don't force 
it;  you don't ever want to hurt her, betraying her trust in 
you.
    Some variations:-  Suck on her nipples, with her standing 
or laying down.  I find that very stimulating for both of us.   
You may like to lick her vulva and clitoris.  I don't enjoy 
that much,  but give it a go.  She will love it.  Not many dogs 
are into anal sex,  but one or two don't mind.  They seem to be 
the exception though.  If your bitch doesn't like it,  don't 
force it, or you will cause her to resent you.  If she does 
like it, (as my bitch Xanth does) then anal sex is great.  
While your are screwing her arse, you can be masturbating her 
vagina.  The sensations on your dick are, well, indescribable.  
Caution here:- NEVER move your dick from her anus to her 
vagina; you will carry bacteria, and it is likely she will get 
an unpleasant infection.  The reverse is highly recommended 
though; going from her vagina to her anus, as you will be well 
lubricated, and it will be easier to enter her.  I would also 
suggest you wash the faeces off your dick afterward fairly 
quickly too.
    For a change, you can screw her missionary style; her on 
her back, and you laying on top.  Be prepared for frustration, 
as they don't quite seem to be built correctly to enter from 
that angle.
    Bitches don't seem too keen on either human semen, or 
licking human vagina.  Sorry.  Again, Xanth is an exception, 
and it is quite pleasant to place my dick in the side of her 
mouth, and jerk myself off though her jowls.  She does like the 
taste of my semen, and I do cum in her mouth (and she does 
swallow).
    I think that is about the limit of what you can do with a 
bitch.  They don't seem too keen on cross-dressing, or wearing 
rubber, so onward to male dogs.

    Dogs are the greatest sex-toy invented, for both men and 
women.  They are ALWAYS horny, and get really enthusiastic 
about sex.
    They will mature sexually around 8-10 months of age.  As 
with bitches, try to avoid too much deliberate sexual activity 
before that age.  Explore their genitalia and get used to how 
everything works.  Their balls go from almost non-existent at 3 
months of age to the serious pieces of sexual apparatus in a 
black velvet sac at 9 months.  A dogs penis mostly stays hidden 
in his sheath, so get your dog used to you pulling his sheath 
back, exposing his dick.  Caution here:-  Do not expose a young 
dogs penis for too long.  The pink flesh is VERY sensitive and 
can dry out.  This is extremely painful for the dog, and he 
will have difficulty retracting it.  Should this occur, 
lubricate it gently with generous quantities of KY jelly, baby 
oil, or any lubricant safe for sex, and carefully pull the 
sheath back over his penis.
    Another note here.  A dogs penis is very different from a 
human penis in shape.  I'll give dimensions for Hamlet (my 
Great Dane). When the dog is fully sexually aroused, the tip of 
the penis is tapered to a point, with a small, round hole in 
the end.  The taper widens sharply to a diameter of about an 
inch, then the shaft is about 4 inches long.  This meets a 
swelling of flesh of almost 3 inches in diameter.  This is his 
knot.  Then there is a further inch or so of shaft, before it 
joins the flesh at his groin.  Take a deep breath here,  that 
is about 8 inches of dog-flesh!  The entire length is more 
sensitive than the glans of a mans penis.  At full arousal, the 
knot can either be hidden in the sheath, which stretches around 
it, or outside, with the sheath pulled right back.  If it is 
fully exposed,  you will have to wait for the swelling to 
recede before you can pull the sheath back down.
    Masturbation.  Jerking your dog off.  Great! They love 
it; never seem to get enough (although, by the gods of 
Gorgonzola, I do my best to give them enough!).
    Get naked.  Heaps more fun.  Caress your dog all over his 
body, around his rump, and over his balls.  Tease him a bit.  
You can tell when they are REALLY turned on, they will butt 
their heads into your groin if you stop.  When you and he are 
ready, kneel beside him (if you are right handed, kneel on his 
left side) facing slightly toward his rear.  With your left 
hand, keep caressing him, scratching his head, back and chest.  
Reach under his belly with your right hand, and between his 
rear legs.  Start by stroking his sheath, then actually hold it 
with your whole hand and pull it forward and backward along his 
dick.  When he starts swelling, follow the contours of his knot 
inside his sheath with your fingers opening and closing as they 
pass over it.  Do not touch the sensitive flesh at this stage, 
or he'll go soft on you, he won't enjoy it.
    He will probably be humping his hips as you are rubbing 
him now, and you can increase your tempo to match his.  While 
his knot is covered by the sheath, you can squeeze it quite 
hard, and pull on it quite strongly; it will increase the 
intensity of his orgasm.  By now he should be squirting dog cum 
quite freely.  It is almost clear for the first few squirts, 
and pales to a milky colour later.  Keep you fist closed around 
his knot, and undulate your fingers.  Perfect the technique 
that your dog likes best.  He will probably reach his head 
around and lick his penis while he's cumming.  They like the 
taste of their own cum, and the feel of their tongues on their 
dicks. 
    At this point, you can sustain his pleasure, and increase 
your own by lightly tweaking the tip of his dick with the 
fingers of your left hand.  Keep your other hand clasped around 
his sheath.  You will be rewarded with a volley of fresh 
squirts of cum.  At this stage, I often lick the tip with my 
tongue, or downright suck on his dick, and drink his cum.  NO 
TEETH!! Don't even touch that sensitive flesh with your teeth!
    Don't be afraid to swallow the dog-cum.  It tastes 
slightly salty, and goes down the throat a lot easier than 
human cum.  Highly recommended.
    When his orgasm is starting to wane, he will probably 
just wander off, head down, dick hanging between his knees.

    Girls,  dogs love to mount people, and they are 
passionate, fiery lovers.  Get naked.  Play with your dog, and 
get him excited, and aroused.  Let him lick your vagina, as 
that seems to act as a great stimulant for you both.  For 
missionary style, sit on the edge of the bed, feet on the 
floor.  Now pat your shoulders and invite your dog to put his 
paws up there.  When he does, lie back, and he will walk his 
back feet forward between you legs until he is laying on your 
stomach, with his sheath right over your entrance. Lift your 
left leg and wrap it over his rump to pull him forward, as you 
use your right hand to guide his penis into your vagina.  It 
helps to have a partner assisting here.  It is easiest for the 
dog if you keep the tips of your fingers clasping his sheath as 
a guide when he starts humping into you; it helps stop him 
pulling out too far.  
    Caution:-  if your dog is one of the Giant Breeds, DON'T 
try to 'tie' with him.  When dogs are mating, the knot at the 
base of their penis swells and lodges inside the bitch, and 
they get stuck together for up to half an hour, unable to 
separate.  Part of natures delightful way of increasing the 
chance of  impregnation.  If you are unable to accommodate a 
swelling of flesh almost as large as a tennis ball, you may get 
badly injured (try explaining THAT away at the Accident and 
Emergency department of the local Hospital!).  Seriously 
though,  if he swells inside you, and you aren't able to 
accommodate him,  you will be stuck, in extreme pain, for up to 
half an hour.  If you are unsure,  buy a sex toy of similar 
dimensions as your dogs dick, and practise on that.  When it 
becomes natural and pleasurable,  by all means, tie with your 
dog.  Heather has told me that being tied to Hamlet is both 
erotic, and very fulfilling.  He will cum inside you,  and that 
is quite erotic,  and you cannot get pregnant from a dog.  Go 
for it, and good luck!
    Letting  your dog mount you 'doggy style' is quite 
natural for the dog, and satisfying too.  As above,  play with 
him,  get him excited, and then just bend over.  For smaller 
breeds (German Shepherd, Labrador etc) you will probably have 
to kneel.  Pat your back, and rump, inviting him to mount.  He 
will place his paws on your back.  Just bend right over, and he 
will slide forward and enter you almost effortlessly.  It is 
likely you now have long, red scratches down your back from his 
claws.  Oh well,  just say you have a passionate lover!  Again,  
reach around and guide his dick with your hand.  He will hump 
quite enthusiastically,  so will need some guidance, and 
restraint.  If he does tie to you,  he may want to step off 
you, and turn away, so you are rump to rump, with him still 
tied into you.  This is natural, as it is how they mate 
normally with bitches.
    Men, you can let your dog mount you, and screw you in the 
same way.  I can't seem to get Hamlet to enter me missionary 
style, but I am sure it's possible with other dogs.  Experiment 
with that one and let me know.  Doggy style though, is easy, 
and very fulfilling.  The same caution applies as above.  DON'T 
tie with Giant Breeds, unless you have practised on something 
the same size.  The first time I tied with my first mature 
Giant (a Newfie called Stan) I couldn't accommodate his huge 
knot, and he tore out of me.  I had rectal bleeding for a week.  
Nice huh?  Don't say I didn't warn you.
    A variation for both men and woman is to have your dog 
lie on his back on the bed.  Straddle him with your knees, 
facing forward, and lower yourself onto his penis.  You can 
reach around and scratch his balls while you are riding him, or 
bend forward and let him lick your face.  Both are good fun.
    Screwing your dogs anus;  well, I've said it before, most 
dogs aren't interested in arse-play.  Hamlet isn't dead keen on 
it, but will tolerate it while he is orgasming.  In fact it 
seems to intensify his orgasm if I screw him in the final 
stages of jerking him off.  Use PLENTY of lubrication; Too much 
is nearly enough.  Use the same technique as for vaginal 
intercourse with a bitch; drape his tail over one of your 
thighs and guide your dick into his hole with one hand, pulling 
his hips back with your other hand.  If he doesn't like it at 
this stage, he will try and get away.  DON'T force him to 
comply with your perverted desires if he doesn't want to.
    If all is going well,  you can reach around and tweak the 
tip of his dick with your fingers.  You will feel his rectal 
muscles clamping onto your dick as he squirts.  Very pleasant.  
Don't spend too long with your dick inside him, or he will get 
annoyed and not let you near his rear again.  Just thrust into 
him gently a few times.  If you are like me, you will find this 
so stimulating you cum almost instantly anyway.  After you 
withdraw,  praise your dog and cuddle him, fondly him, and make 
him feel good about you,  then go and wash your dick well.

    In my experience, all male dogs like the taste of human 
semen.  Whether you just want to quickly jerk off, or after a 
sustained love-making session with a human partner,  let your 
dog clean you up.  They have very soft tongues, and are very 
careful and gentle.  You are denying yourself and your dog a 
great deal of pleasure if you don't let him lick up your semen.

    A couple of extra points about male dogs:-  it is more 
pleasant sucking on their dicks after they have a bath.  It is 
quite natural for a male dog to have a build-up of a mixture of 
body fluids, dead skin, and general scum inside their sheath.  
It probably won't kill you,  but the thought of it in my mouth 
makes me feel queasy, so a quick cleaning session is called 
for.
    Dogs are great partners in threesomes (in any 
combinations of humans and dogs).  Experiment,  have fun.


    Spend some time during your love-making with your doggy 
partner to praise them, and re-assure them.  Fondle them, 
cuddle them,  and generally treat them like an equal.  They are 
giving the gift of their love to you too,  so don't take them 
for granted.  Afterward,  lie with them, hug them, talk softly 
to them.
    If you own a dog, and don't have sex with them, think on 
this;  Dogs love sex.  They enjoy the sensations of orgasm, and 
unless you help them to achieve it, cannot achieve it 
themselves.  Think on how frustrated you would be if you 
couldn't even masturbate yourself when you were horny.  As a 
dog owner, you have taken the animal from his natural habitat 
where he would mate at every opportunity if he could, and put 
him in an environment where sex just isn't available.  If you 
love your dog,  you should extend the gift of sexual release 
toward him or her.  It will deepen their love for you, and your 
love for them.  I'm not asking you to engage in wild sexual 
odysseys with your dog (I can highly recommend it as fun, 
though!!),  but at least you could jerk off your male dog, or 
rub the clitoris of your bitch to relieve them.  It isn't 
unhealthy, it isn't sick, it isn't even perverted (I mean, 
animal breeders do it for a living).   It is love.

Nevyn.
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